I forgot to mention that I mostly wore exercise bras while pregnant - they were stretchy enough to accommodate the ever-growing boobs, right up til the last month or so.
Ok, so this weekend could be great, or devestating.
First, I am getting my hair trimmed. While this should be easy for most, I haven't had it trimmed in over a year, and do NOT know the guy thats cutting it. All I know is that the "salon" is in a beautiful, but run down, old house, the inside is draped in bright,c olourful, indian like fabrics, making it look like I imagine a hooka den to look, and the first guy I talked to when I walked in looked like an ex 80s hair-metal band member, long stringy hair, bandana around the forhead, and the real kicker - eye liner; this guy is NOT cutting my hair. The guy who is is tall, gay, and a bit more normal looking. So why am I worried? He he mentioned layers and a 'blow-out' in the same paragraph as my hair, and I have curly, frizzy hair, not unlike LB's or 870, but I don't put any product in it, so its a bit hippyish too. Thats why I am scared.
The second....
Husband and I are going shopping for a bra to replace the horrific one, and some maternity clothes, possibly including a maternity swim suit. We will start at target, and then go from there. Wish me luck.
And Third...
MIL is staying saturday night with us. That could go either way depending on how she behaves, and my mood. We do get along, but we also have very different oppinions, and even though its completely strange for an architect to do so, I state my oppinions very openly.
And update on the sleeping situation...
I decided to put my high dollar education to the test, and built a nest on the floor. I used every pillow in my house, arranged them in a circle, complete with hole in the center, then covered that with a blanket, and laid down. The hole provided space for my belly, and stomach sleeping was an option. Strangly, I didn't sleep on my stomach at all. I did manage to get some sleep, but it was on my back and side. I haven't yet figured out how to translate what I have learned to the bed so I am not banished to the floor for the next 5 months.
Please, Sarah, don't start spending time blowing out your hair! And do not cut it significantly shorter while pregnant - the lessened size of your head will make your body look even bigger!
I don't use product in mine either. I wash it once a week AT MOST (because the natural oils in your scalp keep the frizz down) and every day I rinse it out then apply a big handful of moisturizing conditioner, scrunch it in thoroughly, and just leave it in, don't rinse. Towel dry by scrunching gently, don't rub it, then just pin it back from my face and let it hang dry. Two hours later I can gently scrunch it in my hands to get rid of the "wet" look that all the conditioner leaves. The important thing for curly hair is t keep it moist and NOT to touch it much! Layers and blow drying are the opposite of that tact!
I'm worried for you going through a big hair change (especially in a salon that employs a guy wearing eyeliner?!? wtf?!) right now when your self-image can be so fragile. Try my hair method and see if it tames your curls at all, if you're not happy, go to the salon NEXT week when you MIL is not in town to comment!!
Target has perfect maternity clothes - not a huge investment, and fun. And you can get a jogbra there too. And some heavy-duty moisturizing conditioner, like Pantene or Tresemme (I avoid salons altogether including their products - my sister trims my hair every six months.)
Congrats on your sleeping nest - see, your "nesting" instinct has kicked in, next thing you know all your building designs will start looking like Herzog and deMueron's!
Well I did do a design employing their Gabion idea in 5th year.
As for my hair, it is JUST getting trimmed. I use matrix's 'curl life' shampoo and conditioner, and its great. THe sister-in-law is a hair ...what do you call the people who cut and style hair? anyway, shes one of those, but shes 2.5 hours away, and still recovering from her pregnancy, ect. I don't even scrunch my hair, I just twist it in the towel, one of those awesome chami like ones, and flip it upside down, then throw it back. That may get harder to do later, but it works. But I will, under no circumstances allow him to cut it shorter than the 2 inches i want off, or layer it. Cutting it makes it lighter, and therefore curlier, and I don't need that. If he does the blow out, I will tie up my hair into a bun, the kind that only curly people can do, without pins, ect, and never go back.
Stand your ground on the layering! And good luck with your MIL, remember, even if you are a total b*tch to her, later you can easily blame it on the "pregnancy messing with my emotions, waaaahhhh" and once you have her grandchild she'll be extra nice to you anyway!
Well, like all good Archinectors, I waited until I got to work to post this morning.
The Weekend....
The hair place was much less scary than it was when I walked in the first time, so I will atribute the initial apprehension to Hormones. The guy was very friendly, and we had a nice, and very polite conversation. He tried, like a car salesman, to get me to cut my hair, but I stood my ground, and it was only trimmed, and a bit of "texturizer" applied.
Saturday, Husband and I walked to Sonic for breakfast (about a mile or so each way) and had a nice time. Then I got ready for Shopping. I have always had a hard time shopping for clothes, with the exception of jackets, because clothes never fit me how they should. So I have learned that it is best to go before the Great Changing Room Mirror looking, and feeling your best. Well, NONE of my clothes we making me feel particularly great, and I had a melt down before we even got out the door. Husband was very nervous. We get to the Maternity Mall, which was more like a large store with three areas containing other store brands, than an actual mall. The woman there told me which areas I should try in based on my size, and many things were on sale. I tried on lots, and at first, it wasn't so great. I started with swim suits. Yeah, not really into the swimsuit, it looks like a dress, and the top floats up when in the water, and the bottoms are a little big, so they fall down, but oh well. The rest of the stuff was great. Maternity pants and skirts are like regular clothes, mixed with jogging suits, and totally comfortable. No buttons, snaps, zippers, its great. Plus! Its the FIRST, and probably ONLY time I will ever wear an EXTRA-SMALL in anything.
Husband wouldn't let me do my usual editing the maybe pile, and insisted on paying for all of it. He wouldn't even let me stand at the register as he was checking out. He was just so glad I was happy and smiling again. Funny how clothes can do that.
MIL never called me back to tell me WHEN she was getting into town. So we finally called her. She was at her brother's house, who lives in Dallas also, and invited us over to swim. Ok, so I did just by a suit, and have been dying to swim for months. Well, I learned you can't do underwater back flips in my condition. She was nice, we went to dinner, and then left her brother's place at 10pm! Why is she staying with us again, why didn't she just stay there? Whatever. She did insist on taking pictures of me in my bathing suit, which no one should ever do, but she's all about the pictures.
She did make some strange comments that I just brushed off, but Husband was creaped out by. At dinner she said 'our' kid in refference to Mine and Husband's kid; not your, but 'our.' And then, later, she said that she really wanted to be a part of 'this' if we would let her. Since I call and inform them of how appointments go, how I'm feeling, ect, I'm not sure what else she could possibly mean. Maybe I am just disecting it too much, but 'this' implies present to me, not future, so I'm confused. On the plus side, when she doesn't like my answer to one of her inquiries, she keeps it to herself. Example: Baby will sleep in his crib, in his own room, and thats that. She thinks that the baby should be in a craddle by the bed, and then moved to a crib, but she didn't say so. So I commend her on that.
not meaning to be a buttinsky, but i've seen this happen with my wife (twice): if you intend to nurse the baby, you're going to want a bassinet in your room near your bed. you do NOT want to get up every time the newborn wants to nurse. distance between bed and baby begins to matter a lot.
Nice when someone knows that their opposition will do no good and keeps it to themselves.
I must put in a vote for layering though- just *long* layering. Every wavy or curly haired person has a length at which their hair is a poufy mess because there's not enough weight to hold the curls down, and a length at which everything hangs nicely. Layering works very well for getting weight off as long as you know what your hair's magic length is and do not go shorter.
Steven, I've thought about that, and I know it will make it harder on me, but it is important to me that our marriage bed stay sacred. I know it sounds romantic and naive, but its one way I feel I can assure that there is still some semblance of Me versus Mom me. Besides, I'm an Architect, and as such am used to self-torture.
Rationalist, I don't know the magic length, but my hair won't grow any longer than about 8" from my shoulders. I've been growing it since 3rd grade, I'm now 24, and thats all I've gotten. I would say, if you had to classify my hair type, its like that woman in the painting where she is knighting a young man, only its not that long. If I could find it, I'd post it.
long-wavy-untamed-hippie-chick? That's about where I am too, and only discovered what my magic length was when someone cut it too short, and I paid attention to where it was at the point that it grew out enough to look decent again.
Sarah, on the sleeping: I did the most irrational thing, but it worked for me: For the first few weeks, Angus was in a bassinet right next to the bed - in part because right after bringing him home, I had that new-mother's irrational fear that if I stop looking at him, he'll stop breathing. So, he was next to the bed, and when he fussed, I'd get up, take him into the nursery down the hall, sit in the rocker and nurse him, then bring him back to the bassinet and go back to sleep.
Then he got too big for the bassinet, and I adjusted to having him sleep down the hall - which was scary the first night, but I quickly realized that I was so tuned in to his sounds that I heard him as soon as he woke up fussing - then I would go into his room, nurse him in the chair, put him back to his bed and return gratefully to my bed.
It wasn't until he was a few months old that I actually felt safe enough to bring him into bed to nurse - I was scared of rolling over on him, which isn't really a valid fear unless you are drunk, although it does happen. Even then, I would only do it in the morning, when I knew we would all be waking up in another hour anyway.
Again - you need to do whatever you are comfortable with, and it will be the best choice for all of you.
Sarah, that painting is of Josephine knighting Napoleon. If you can ignore all the sociopolitic implications, it is gorgeous, romantic, and incredibly sparkly. If you ever get the chance, go see it in person.
Oh shit, I had it backwards somehow! I tested myself by making my post before looking it up. WRONG! It's Napoleon crowning JOSEPHINE. (also used the wrong word... "crowning" not "knighting", duh.)
no, that's totally not even the painting you're talking about. i'm just retarded tonight, sorry. your words made me picture josephine for some unknown reason.
anyway rationalist i TOTALLY agree with you about magic hair length--and I found it out the exact same way!!--but I think maybe it doesn't work for super curly/frizzy hair? like i have ringlets, but i have big round ringlets, and not so frizzy. i'm thinking the spiral-curl types maybe don't have much choice in the length thing. I had a roommate with spiral curl hair and layers just made it look messy.
So I must be coming back 'round to normal, or at least entering the 'eating' stage. A co-worker and I went to Eatzi's for lunch, which is basically an upscale market, full of cheeses, produce, and pre-made real food cooked by chefs, with a salad station and sandwich station, ect. BUT I WANTED TO EAT IT ALL. Granted, I have always loved food, and have always been a bit indecisive, but if I had been a millionaire, or they had been REALLY patient with me, I would have gotten everything, or a bite of everything. Instead I just got two oranges, one banana, and a sandwich smeared with garlic herb spread, lettuce, tomatoes, salami, cappicolla, provolone, and munster on artesian bread. Good thing I didn't buy the whole store... I wasn't even able to eat half of my sandwich. Even though food is again enticing to me, I can't eat much at once. This should be helpful in curbing the inevitable weight gain, which, still hasn't been 10 pounds. Thats right, I started at 131, I'm 4.5 months in, and I'm at 138. Though, those 7 pounds did come withing the last week. The kid weighs 7 lbs already, right? Isn't he made of some sort of super-dense material?
if you've gained 7, doesn't that mean your munchkin is something like 2lbs? not saying anything bad, just that you have to account for the little swimming pool the baby's floating in and all the life-support systems.
soo....you're saying that the kid is 2, and the support systems and pool are 5lbs? I'll buy that. As long as its not me, right? Amniotic fluid is heavy, isn't it?
I am showing, since I had to buy materinty clothes. Tell ya'll what, I will put up a photo, but since Husband is paranoid, I will remove my head from the frame. Its nothing againt any of you, he just always assumes the worst, and I can be naive, so we will call this a compromise.
Oh, and some advice please...
Since our place is small, I don't want to lose 9 sqft to a high chair, and instead want one that fits into the dining chairs we already have. As previously mentioned, I have a strong aversion to bright colours and plastics, but the wood and fabric ones I have found are overpriced for what they are. So, my question is, what kind of chair do you suggest? I have looked online at target and babies r us, but don't know if one is better than another. I would like a tray. Any thoughts?
Oh my god, you look so cute!!!! I miss being pregnant.
On the high chair: I read a fantastic book about food, I'll try to remember the name of it, it was confusing. The name, not the book. Anyway, the author felt that kids should eat AT THE TABLE from a young age. She emphasizes the family dining experience, and how kids learn from you by seeing YOU eat and feeling they are partaking in the same activity with you.
So we got Angus a little wood high chair like they have in restaurants. No tray, and he pulls up to the table. He didn't use it until age 6 months or so. For his first few solid food experiences, after he could sit up OK, we tied him to a regular dining chair with one of these cloth contraptions - you can buy them or find a pattern online to make one - that ties to the chair and to the baby.
Also, some of my friends - including maybe Steven? - used the chairs that hook on to the table and hang off the edge, I always thought they were cool, but you have to make sure your table edge will work with it.
Ours wont, we have a deep skirt; I hit my legs on it constantly. I want the child at the table as well, but I was thinking the tray would be helpful WHILE i was cooking to start the kid off with an appetizer of dry foods, or toys. Does that make sense? I'm new at this, so my ideas don't always jive with real life.
No, your idea is right on. A good friend of mine used her freestanding trayed high chair for exactly that, and it worked great for her. Only problem was, as you say, it takes up a chunk of floor space!
audrey loves her 'bumbo' baby seat. even though you're not supposed to use it on elevated surfaces, we just put her ON the dining table so she could join us for dinner.
now that she's 6mos she can sit up fine in our svan high chair.
we looked at the hang-on-the-edge type, but came up with too many reasons NOT to use it, so didn't get one.
oh, and we put the 'bumbo' thingy on the counter, too, so she can be around for the cooking.
the only issue we've had is that, when we put her on the dining table, we have to put a placemat under the chair because her drool messes up the wood finish.
I do kinda like that one, Steven, but how much space does it take up? I know the bumbo seat has a tray to go with it, but will it work for older kids, how big are they? Could I use it as a booster/high chair do you think?
Sarah- thanks for all your posts and honest insights on your experiences over the past few months. Now, I do not want to hijack your thread in any way, and perhaps I should not have lurked for so long, but we're going through the same thing right now.
I have struggled a bit with "coming out" on archinect just because of the personal level of this experience, but your honesty and openess with the real effects of maternity have made it easier for me to remember that not all women - especially those in professional careers-go through maternity inside some sort of blissful bubble of pink and blue.
So: I'm due in the end of January, first time me and my husband, and although this was a surprise and he is very excited, I am getting there. My professional situation has changed, the pregnancy being a major motivator to pursue and offer that would provide good health care as well as fufill my desire to teach.
On monday I stood before 46 first-year architecture students, and welcomed them to their first design class. But the bump doesn't lie. My TA's wasted no time in finding out what was up. I guess I will spend my expanding months with an audience!
Well so far it's just the one class, and I spend the rest of my time doing the regular intern-in-latter-stages design work at the office. But full-time teaching would be a great gig for a parent, that much I can see.
Sarah it was really tough to leave my old office, but I could see the writing on the wall and got out as I luckily had the option. the small firm i worked for was personally excited when I told them the news, but were in now way prepared to handle the realities of an employee on maternity leave, not to mention accomodating a flexible schedule for after bambino's arrival. With the new office, I still will only get two months leave (i think) and it will be mostly non-paid, but at least the insurance benefits are there and they are open to flexible schedules.
Now ya'll know the reason why I get all worked up on the working-mother/female in the workplace threads. It's my life.
the bumbo is small-ish - probably 15" diameter. our two-year old can still sit in it. (not that we want her to, she just does it.)
i can't imagine how a tray works since the whole thing is foam.
i also don't think you should use it as a booster/high chair. it can't be secured in any way.
its primary value is that it's soft and that it can keep a baby sitting up when she can't really sit up yet. she loved that. (now she can sit up on her own, but still loves her chair.)
Ok, so my labourday weekend was actually really good. We went to the lake for a family reunion with Husband's dad's side of the family, whom somehow I had never met in the 9+ years of being with Husband. Weird. But they were great, and the swim suit I picked up on Friday, on sale at Target no less, to replace the maternity suit I picked up somewhere else for twice the price, and HATED, looked great, and I got many compliments.
I also met Sister-In-Law's new baby, about 3 months maybe? and learned that infants aer still a bit creepy, but 13 month olds are cool. One of the cousins had a 13 month old son, and he was quite mobile, smart, and could eat solid foods. He also seemed to take to me really well, and I could read his body language. Either Pregnancy triggers the mother's intuition, or I'm just a natural and didn't know it, but I am much more confident in my parenting ability for children of the pre-speech age. I could tell when he was tired because he would begin to wander aimlessly, slightly drunk like, and when he was thirsty because he would try to drink from the empy water bottles he was playing with. I even managed to rock him to sleep while sitting in a plastic lawn chair.
So now I'm not sure what I will do between 0 and 13 months, but at least I now know I can handle 13 and up. I think what intimidates me about the 3 month old is that he just lays there. He doesn't do anything, and there is really no interaction. Its pretty boring, and I hope that that stage doesn't last too long.
I guess that really this was a boring post for most, but since it is part of my development, I am including it.
Oh, and I think I had my first official craving yesterday. I ws dreaming about Everything bagels, and cookies stuffed full of icing. I went to the store immediatly, and picked up two bagels, and compromised with iced cookies when the bakery guy said he couldn't stuff some sugar cookies with icing for me, and I was too lazy to make my own. But it all hit the spot anyway. Wonder what it means to suddenly crave "bad" carbs. And I had my first wierd pregnancy dream. During a sonagram, to find out the baby's sex, the nurse pulled the baby out, showed me, and then used this INCREDIBLY painful 'stretching machine' to put him back. Oh, and in my dream, his genitals hadn't fully formed, so he was still half and half. Guess this means, I'm terrified and unsure.
First: smallpotatoes, congratulations!! I read that last week and am very excited for you too, sorry it took me so long to respond. Glad your work situation seems good. I taught when I was first pregnant, and at the end of the semester I was finally able to tell my students what was going on - and to apologize for all those desk crits when I looked like all I wanted to do was lay my head down on their desk and take a nap!
Sarah, your one minute old infant will be telling you what s/he wants to do, really, and you will understand it. Don't worry. The interaction is different, and it often seems like as soon as you figure out one thing they are over that and on to the next, but you'll understand.
well...you MIGHT not understand. but he/she will love you unconditionally anyway, whether you get it or not.
as delicate as they look, the little monsters seem to do ok as long as you're trying. my wife can't figure out how our 6mo/old survives on the intermittent nursing schedule she maintains and with the little bit that she actually takes BUT she keeps getting more cute little rolls of fat so....
SH have you experienced your belly becoming public property yet? I was home visiting family over the weekend and had several instances where someone reached out for my stomach!
congrats on the extra-small-potato! (ha, you knew it was coming.) Pretty awesome.
Okay, this is a little bit of an early question for some of you, but at least LB and SW will be able to weigh in:
A girlfriend of mine just had twin boys, her first kids, about a week and a half ago. I am shopping for a present to send as I won't see her till October. As I was looking at very cute baby stuff and realizing what I could(n't) afford, it suddenly occured to me...
What if I got her an hour massage/spa/aromatherapy treatment? Instead of something for the kids, that is. It may be awhile, of course, till she can actually schedule a free block of time to go take advantage of that, but I was just thinking... well everyone's gonna give them baby stuff, much of which may be semi-useless, especially something from me, since I've never had a kid and have no clue what makes a good present for the care of one. I DO know, however, what is good care for a woman, especially a woman who was on bed rest with an enormous uncomfortable belly for the last 3 months.
Do you guys think this is in any way a good present idea? Or just obnoxious and useless? Obviously I still have to figure something out the father, but I'm less concerned about him. Or maybe I can send a small thingy for the babies, and this for her? What do y'all think?
A Great Adventure
Hahaha the pointy boobs...
I forgot to mention that I mostly wore exercise bras while pregnant - they were stretchy enough to accommodate the ever-growing boobs, right up til the last month or so.
ever growing boobs...now were talkin'!
Ok, so this weekend could be great, or devestating.
First, I am getting my hair trimmed. While this should be easy for most, I haven't had it trimmed in over a year, and do NOT know the guy thats cutting it. All I know is that the "salon" is in a beautiful, but run down, old house, the inside is draped in bright,c olourful, indian like fabrics, making it look like I imagine a hooka den to look, and the first guy I talked to when I walked in looked like an ex 80s hair-metal band member, long stringy hair, bandana around the forhead, and the real kicker - eye liner; this guy is NOT cutting my hair. The guy who is is tall, gay, and a bit more normal looking. So why am I worried? He he mentioned layers and a 'blow-out' in the same paragraph as my hair, and I have curly, frizzy hair, not unlike LB's or 870, but I don't put any product in it, so its a bit hippyish too. Thats why I am scared.
The second....
Husband and I are going shopping for a bra to replace the horrific one, and some maternity clothes, possibly including a maternity swim suit. We will start at target, and then go from there. Wish me luck.
And Third...
MIL is staying saturday night with us. That could go either way depending on how she behaves, and my mood. We do get along, but we also have very different oppinions, and even though its completely strange for an architect to do so, I state my oppinions very openly.
And update on the sleeping situation...
I decided to put my high dollar education to the test, and built a nest on the floor. I used every pillow in my house, arranged them in a circle, complete with hole in the center, then covered that with a blanket, and laid down. The hole provided space for my belly, and stomach sleeping was an option. Strangly, I didn't sleep on my stomach at all. I did manage to get some sleep, but it was on my back and side. I haven't yet figured out how to translate what I have learned to the bed so I am not banished to the floor for the next 5 months.
Please, Sarah, don't start spending time blowing out your hair! And do not cut it significantly shorter while pregnant - the lessened size of your head will make your body look even bigger!
I don't use product in mine either. I wash it once a week AT MOST (because the natural oils in your scalp keep the frizz down) and every day I rinse it out then apply a big handful of moisturizing conditioner, scrunch it in thoroughly, and just leave it in, don't rinse. Towel dry by scrunching gently, don't rub it, then just pin it back from my face and let it hang dry. Two hours later I can gently scrunch it in my hands to get rid of the "wet" look that all the conditioner leaves. The important thing for curly hair is t keep it moist and NOT to touch it much! Layers and blow drying are the opposite of that tact!
I'm worried for you going through a big hair change (especially in a salon that employs a guy wearing eyeliner?!? wtf?!) right now when your self-image can be so fragile. Try my hair method and see if it tames your curls at all, if you're not happy, go to the salon NEXT week when you MIL is not in town to comment!!
Target has perfect maternity clothes - not a huge investment, and fun. And you can get a jogbra there too. And some heavy-duty moisturizing conditioner, like Pantene or Tresemme (I avoid salons altogether including their products - my sister trims my hair every six months.)
Congrats on your sleeping nest - see, your "nesting" instinct has kicked in, next thing you know all your building designs will start looking like Herzog and deMueron's!
Well I did do a design employing their Gabion idea in 5th year.
As for my hair, it is JUST getting trimmed. I use matrix's 'curl life' shampoo and conditioner, and its great. THe sister-in-law is a hair ...what do you call the people who cut and style hair? anyway, shes one of those, but shes 2.5 hours away, and still recovering from her pregnancy, ect. I don't even scrunch my hair, I just twist it in the towel, one of those awesome chami like ones, and flip it upside down, then throw it back. That may get harder to do later, but it works. But I will, under no circumstances allow him to cut it shorter than the 2 inches i want off, or layer it. Cutting it makes it lighter, and therefore curlier, and I don't need that. If he does the blow out, I will tie up my hair into a bun, the kind that only curly people can do, without pins, ect, and never go back.
I use the chami towel, too, hah!
Stand your ground on the layering! And good luck with your MIL, remember, even if you are a total b*tch to her, later you can easily blame it on the "pregnancy messing with my emotions, waaaahhhh" and once you have her grandchild she'll be extra nice to you anyway!
Good morning, Sarah - I've been worried about you, so please tell us: how was the MIL visit? How is your hair?!?
Well, like all good Archinectors, I waited until I got to work to post this morning.
The Weekend....
The hair place was much less scary than it was when I walked in the first time, so I will atribute the initial apprehension to Hormones. The guy was very friendly, and we had a nice, and very polite conversation. He tried, like a car salesman, to get me to cut my hair, but I stood my ground, and it was only trimmed, and a bit of "texturizer" applied.
Saturday, Husband and I walked to Sonic for breakfast (about a mile or so each way) and had a nice time. Then I got ready for Shopping. I have always had a hard time shopping for clothes, with the exception of jackets, because clothes never fit me how they should. So I have learned that it is best to go before the Great Changing Room Mirror looking, and feeling your best. Well, NONE of my clothes we making me feel particularly great, and I had a melt down before we even got out the door. Husband was very nervous. We get to the Maternity Mall, which was more like a large store with three areas containing other store brands, than an actual mall. The woman there told me which areas I should try in based on my size, and many things were on sale. I tried on lots, and at first, it wasn't so great. I started with swim suits. Yeah, not really into the swimsuit, it looks like a dress, and the top floats up when in the water, and the bottoms are a little big, so they fall down, but oh well. The rest of the stuff was great. Maternity pants and skirts are like regular clothes, mixed with jogging suits, and totally comfortable. No buttons, snaps, zippers, its great. Plus! Its the FIRST, and probably ONLY time I will ever wear an EXTRA-SMALL in anything.
Husband wouldn't let me do my usual editing the maybe pile, and insisted on paying for all of it. He wouldn't even let me stand at the register as he was checking out. He was just so glad I was happy and smiling again. Funny how clothes can do that.
MIL never called me back to tell me WHEN she was getting into town. So we finally called her. She was at her brother's house, who lives in Dallas also, and invited us over to swim. Ok, so I did just by a suit, and have been dying to swim for months. Well, I learned you can't do underwater back flips in my condition. She was nice, we went to dinner, and then left her brother's place at 10pm! Why is she staying with us again, why didn't she just stay there? Whatever. She did insist on taking pictures of me in my bathing suit, which no one should ever do, but she's all about the pictures.
She did make some strange comments that I just brushed off, but Husband was creaped out by. At dinner she said 'our' kid in refference to Mine and Husband's kid; not your, but 'our.' And then, later, she said that she really wanted to be a part of 'this' if we would let her. Since I call and inform them of how appointments go, how I'm feeling, ect, I'm not sure what else she could possibly mean. Maybe I am just disecting it too much, but 'this' implies present to me, not future, so I'm confused. On the plus side, when she doesn't like my answer to one of her inquiries, she keeps it to herself. Example: Baby will sleep in his crib, in his own room, and thats that. She thinks that the baby should be in a craddle by the bed, and then moved to a crib, but she didn't say so. So I commend her on that.
not meaning to be a buttinsky, but i've seen this happen with my wife (twice): if you intend to nurse the baby, you're going to want a bassinet in your room near your bed. you do NOT want to get up every time the newborn wants to nurse. distance between bed and baby begins to matter a lot.
Nice when someone knows that their opposition will do no good and keeps it to themselves.
I must put in a vote for layering though- just *long* layering. Every wavy or curly haired person has a length at which their hair is a poufy mess because there's not enough weight to hold the curls down, and a length at which everything hangs nicely. Layering works very well for getting weight off as long as you know what your hair's magic length is and do not go shorter.
Steven, I've thought about that, and I know it will make it harder on me, but it is important to me that our marriage bed stay sacred. I know it sounds romantic and naive, but its one way I feel I can assure that there is still some semblance of Me versus Mom me. Besides, I'm an Architect, and as such am used to self-torture.
Rationalist, I don't know the magic length, but my hair won't grow any longer than about 8" from my shoulders. I've been growing it since 3rd grade, I'm now 24, and thats all I've gotten. I would say, if you had to classify my hair type, its like that woman in the painting where she is knighting a young man, only its not that long. If I could find it, I'd post it.
long-wavy-untamed-hippie-chick? That's about where I am too, and only discovered what my magic length was when someone cut it too short, and I paid attention to where it was at the point that it grew out enough to look decent again.
Sarah, on the sleeping: I did the most irrational thing, but it worked for me: For the first few weeks, Angus was in a bassinet right next to the bed - in part because right after bringing him home, I had that new-mother's irrational fear that if I stop looking at him, he'll stop breathing. So, he was next to the bed, and when he fussed, I'd get up, take him into the nursery down the hall, sit in the rocker and nurse him, then bring him back to the bassinet and go back to sleep.
Then he got too big for the bassinet, and I adjusted to having him sleep down the hall - which was scary the first night, but I quickly realized that I was so tuned in to his sounds that I heard him as soon as he woke up fussing - then I would go into his room, nurse him in the chair, put him back to his bed and return gratefully to my bed.
It wasn't until he was a few months old that I actually felt safe enough to bring him into bed to nurse - I was scared of rolling over on him, which isn't really a valid fear unless you are drunk, although it does happen. Even then, I would only do it in the morning, when I knew we would all be waking up in another hour anyway.
Again - you need to do whatever you are comfortable with, and it will be the best choice for all of you.
So glad the haircut went well, and the MIL visit!
just an fyi you may not want to nurse while getting a haircut.
Vado, are speaking from experience?
no but i did date a pregnant woman(not my kid) we watched werner herzog movies and ate thai food.
Sarah, that painting is of Josephine knighting Napoleon. If you can ignore all the sociopolitic implications, it is gorgeous, romantic, and incredibly sparkly. If you ever get the chance, go see it in person.
Oh shit, I had it backwards somehow! I tested myself by making my post before looking it up. WRONG! It's Napoleon crowning JOSEPHINE. (also used the wrong word... "crowning" not "knighting", duh.)
is this it?
[img=http://library.thinkquest.org/C0110901/imagesAll/coronation.jpg width=400[/img]
argh. i'm tired.
no, that's totally not even the painting you're talking about. i'm just retarded tonight, sorry. your words made me picture josephine for some unknown reason.
anyway rationalist i TOTALLY agree with you about magic hair length--and I found it out the exact same way!!--but I think maybe it doesn't work for super curly/frizzy hair? like i have ringlets, but i have big round ringlets, and not so frizzy. i'm thinking the spiral-curl types maybe don't have much choice in the length thing. I had a roommate with spiral curl hair and layers just made it look messy.
...could it be a Klimt? You don't have red, curly hair, do you? Hmm.
i studied lactating madonnas in college...
OK, I found the painting. No one said it was high art, but this is what my hair would look like if I brushed it, and if it were longer.
width=418
The Alcolade.
Lets hope that worked.
WOOHOO!!! It worked, well, sort of, anyway. Maybe it also looks like maid marian's hair in RH men in tights. But its blonde.
So I must be coming back 'round to normal, or at least entering the 'eating' stage. A co-worker and I went to Eatzi's for lunch, which is basically an upscale market, full of cheeses, produce, and pre-made real food cooked by chefs, with a salad station and sandwich station, ect. BUT I WANTED TO EAT IT ALL. Granted, I have always loved food, and have always been a bit indecisive, but if I had been a millionaire, or they had been REALLY patient with me, I would have gotten everything, or a bite of everything. Instead I just got two oranges, one banana, and a sandwich smeared with garlic herb spread, lettuce, tomatoes, salami, cappicolla, provolone, and munster on artesian bread. Good thing I didn't buy the whole store... I wasn't even able to eat half of my sandwich. Even though food is again enticing to me, I can't eat much at once. This should be helpful in curbing the inevitable weight gain, which, still hasn't been 10 pounds. Thats right, I started at 131, I'm 4.5 months in, and I'm at 138. Though, those 7 pounds did come withing the last week. The kid weighs 7 lbs already, right? Isn't he made of some sort of super-dense material?
if you've gained 7, doesn't that mean your munchkin is something like 2lbs? not saying anything bad, just that you have to account for the little swimming pool the baby's floating in and all the life-support systems.
soo....you're saying that the kid is 2, and the support systems and pool are 5lbs? I'll buy that. As long as its not me, right? Amniotic fluid is heavy, isn't it?
Are you showing yet? I'd guess not, especially at only 7 pounds up.
Yes, a lot of the weight is amniotic fluid.
I am showing, since I had to buy materinty clothes. Tell ya'll what, I will put up a photo, but since Husband is paranoid, I will remove my head from the frame. Its nothing againt any of you, he just always assumes the worst, and I can be naive, so we will call this a compromise.
Oh, and some advice please...
Since our place is small, I don't want to lose 9 sqft to a high chair, and instead want one that fits into the dining chairs we already have. As previously mentioned, I have a strong aversion to bright colours and plastics, but the wood and fabric ones I have found are overpriced for what they are. So, my question is, what kind of chair do you suggest? I have looked online at target and babies r us, but don't know if one is better than another. I would like a tray. Any thoughts?
Ok, just so you don't think I'm some sort or narcicist, I took these photos for my out of state mom, so she could see my first maternity purchase.
Oh, and I haven't figured out the resizing yet, so if they are HUGE, then I appologise. Crossing my fingers.
Oh what luck, they made it to the top of page 3!
Oh my god, you look so cute!!!! I miss being pregnant.
On the high chair: I read a fantastic book about food, I'll try to remember the name of it, it was confusing. The name, not the book. Anyway, the author felt that kids should eat AT THE TABLE from a young age. She emphasizes the family dining experience, and how kids learn from you by seeing YOU eat and feeling they are partaking in the same activity with you.
So we got Angus a little wood high chair like they have in restaurants. No tray, and he pulls up to the table. He didn't use it until age 6 months or so. For his first few solid food experiences, after he could sit up OK, we tied him to a regular dining chair with one of these cloth contraptions - you can buy them or find a pattern online to make one - that ties to the chair and to the baby.
Also, some of my friends - including maybe Steven? - used the chairs that hook on to the table and hang off the edge, I always thought they were cool, but you have to make sure your table edge will work with it.
Ours wont, we have a deep skirt; I hit my legs on it constantly. I want the child at the table as well, but I was thinking the tray would be helpful WHILE i was cooking to start the kid off with an appetizer of dry foods, or toys. Does that make sense? I'm new at this, so my ideas don't always jive with real life.
No, your idea is right on. A good friend of mine used her freestanding trayed high chair for exactly that, and it worked great for her. Only problem was, as you say, it takes up a chunk of floor space!
audrey loves her 'bumbo' baby seat. even though you're not supposed to use it on elevated surfaces, we just put her ON the dining table so she could join us for dinner.
now that she's 6mos she can sit up fine in our svan high chair.
we looked at the hang-on-the-edge type, but came up with too many reasons NOT to use it, so didn't get one.
darn it:
oh, and we put the 'bumbo' thingy on the counter, too, so she can be around for the cooking.
the only issue we've had is that, when we put her on the dining table, we have to put a placemat under the chair because her drool messes up the wood finish.
drool happens.
I do kinda like that one, Steven, but how much space does it take up? I know the bumbo seat has a tray to go with it, but will it work for older kids, how big are they? Could I use it as a booster/high chair do you think?
LB
if you miss being preggers, give me a call. I can help you out ;)
Sarah- thanks for all your posts and honest insights on your experiences over the past few months. Now, I do not want to hijack your thread in any way, and perhaps I should not have lurked for so long, but we're going through the same thing right now.
I have struggled a bit with "coming out" on archinect just because of the personal level of this experience, but your honesty and openess with the real effects of maternity have made it easier for me to remember that not all women - especially those in professional careers-go through maternity inside some sort of blissful bubble of pink and blue.
So: I'm due in the end of January, first time me and my husband, and although this was a surprise and he is very excited, I am getting there. My professional situation has changed, the pregnancy being a major motivator to pursue and offer that would provide good health care as well as fufill my desire to teach.
On monday I stood before 46 first-year architecture students, and welcomed them to their first design class. But the bump doesn't lie. My TA's wasted no time in finding out what was up. I guess I will spend my expanding months with an audience!
On the high chair topic (I hope I can lend you some of my own product research), I really like the Svan high chair as it won't be an eyesore at my table, but it's expensive:
http://babybungalow.com/svanchair1.html
Also the Stokke chair is alright, but kid needs to be 6 months
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2593916&cp=2255957.2273443.2255981.2256180.2256184&view=all&parentPage=family
I think the Stokke chair is simple enough to inspire some design and woodworking of my own....
It's hip to be round.
I am jealous of your teaching gig, I would kill for that.
Well so far it's just the one class, and I spend the rest of my time doing the regular intern-in-latter-stages design work at the office. But full-time teaching would be a great gig for a parent, that much I can see.
Sarah it was really tough to leave my old office, but I could see the writing on the wall and got out as I luckily had the option. the small firm i worked for was personally excited when I told them the news, but were in now way prepared to handle the realities of an employee on maternity leave, not to mention accomodating a flexible schedule for after bambino's arrival. With the new office, I still will only get two months leave (i think) and it will be mostly non-paid, but at least the insurance benefits are there and they are open to flexible schedules.
Now ya'll know the reason why I get all worked up on the working-mother/female in the workplace threads. It's my life.
and, thank you tumbleweed!
the bumbo is small-ish - probably 15" diameter. our two-year old can still sit in it. (not that we want her to, she just does it.)
i can't imagine how a tray works since the whole thing is foam.
i also don't think you should use it as a booster/high chair. it can't be secured in any way.
its primary value is that it's soft and that it can keep a baby sitting up when she can't really sit up yet. she loved that. (now she can sit up on her own, but still loves her chair.)
Ok, so my labourday weekend was actually really good. We went to the lake for a family reunion with Husband's dad's side of the family, whom somehow I had never met in the 9+ years of being with Husband. Weird. But they were great, and the swim suit I picked up on Friday, on sale at Target no less, to replace the maternity suit I picked up somewhere else for twice the price, and HATED, looked great, and I got many compliments.
I also met Sister-In-Law's new baby, about 3 months maybe? and learned that infants aer still a bit creepy, but 13 month olds are cool. One of the cousins had a 13 month old son, and he was quite mobile, smart, and could eat solid foods. He also seemed to take to me really well, and I could read his body language. Either Pregnancy triggers the mother's intuition, or I'm just a natural and didn't know it, but I am much more confident in my parenting ability for children of the pre-speech age. I could tell when he was tired because he would begin to wander aimlessly, slightly drunk like, and when he was thirsty because he would try to drink from the empy water bottles he was playing with. I even managed to rock him to sleep while sitting in a plastic lawn chair.
So now I'm not sure what I will do between 0 and 13 months, but at least I now know I can handle 13 and up. I think what intimidates me about the 3 month old is that he just lays there. He doesn't do anything, and there is really no interaction. Its pretty boring, and I hope that that stage doesn't last too long.
I guess that really this was a boring post for most, but since it is part of my development, I am including it.
Oh, and I think I had my first official craving yesterday. I ws dreaming about Everything bagels, and cookies stuffed full of icing. I went to the store immediatly, and picked up two bagels, and compromised with iced cookies when the bakery guy said he couldn't stuff some sugar cookies with icing for me, and I was too lazy to make my own. But it all hit the spot anyway. Wonder what it means to suddenly crave "bad" carbs. And I had my first wierd pregnancy dream. During a sonagram, to find out the baby's sex, the nurse pulled the baby out, showed me, and then used this INCREDIBLY painful 'stretching machine' to put him back. Oh, and in my dream, his genitals hadn't fully formed, so he was still half and half. Guess this means, I'm terrified and unsure.
Anybody else have crazy dreams like that?
First: smallpotatoes, congratulations!! I read that last week and am very excited for you too, sorry it took me so long to respond. Glad your work situation seems good. I taught when I was first pregnant, and at the end of the semester I was finally able to tell my students what was going on - and to apologize for all those desk crits when I looked like all I wanted to do was lay my head down on their desk and take a nap!
Sarah, your one minute old infant will be telling you what s/he wants to do, really, and you will understand it. Don't worry. The interaction is different, and it often seems like as soon as you figure out one thing they are over that and on to the next, but you'll understand.
Glad you had a nice long weekend!
well...you MIGHT not understand. but he/she will love you unconditionally anyway, whether you get it or not.
as delicate as they look, the little monsters seem to do ok as long as you're trying. my wife can't figure out how our 6mo/old survives on the intermittent nursing schedule she maintains and with the little bit that she actually takes BUT she keeps getting more cute little rolls of fat so....
SH have you experienced your belly becoming public property yet? I was home visiting family over the weekend and had several instances where someone reached out for my stomach!
congrats on the extra-small-potato! (ha, you knew it was coming.) Pretty awesome.
Okay, this is a little bit of an early question for some of you, but at least LB and SW will be able to weigh in:
A girlfriend of mine just had twin boys, her first kids, about a week and a half ago. I am shopping for a present to send as I won't see her till October. As I was looking at very cute baby stuff and realizing what I could(n't) afford, it suddenly occured to me...
What if I got her an hour massage/spa/aromatherapy treatment? Instead of something for the kids, that is. It may be awhile, of course, till she can actually schedule a free block of time to go take advantage of that, but I was just thinking... well everyone's gonna give them baby stuff, much of which may be semi-useless, especially something from me, since I've never had a kid and have no clue what makes a good present for the care of one. I DO know, however, what is good care for a woman, especially a woman who was on bed rest with an enormous uncomfortable belly for the last 3 months.
Do you guys think this is in any way a good present idea? Or just obnoxious and useless? Obviously I still have to figure something out the father, but I'm less concerned about him. Or maybe I can send a small thingy for the babies, and this for her? What do y'all think?
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