SH- can you tell me more?
I think I've just accepted that I have to do what I have to do. I had a baby. I have to work. So that means I can't always be with my baby and I can't always be available to work. So if I get in a crunch I don't sweat it b/c the kid needs me or my husband.

Now, I'm fortunate that I work for an office that's very pro-family (rare I know) and is large enough to have the systems in place to provide some flexibility and protocol for working moms. One of the reasons I moved out of the private sector and into the university system was that I knew it would be tough after the baby arrived for a small firm to provide the flexibility I wanted.

Ideally, I would have gotten my license first so that I could work from home to some extent but it just didn't work out that way. While I do feel disconnected at times from the architecture world, I just don't believe any of that will matter in the big picture. In a few years, my little tater will in school and I will struggle to remember his cute baby-ness. So for now, I fight the urge to feel guilty about my disconnect with architecture with the good feelings I get from spending time with my tot. "This too shall pass" is my mantra.

How old do you think I am??? ;)

I figure youre at least 27, mostly cause thats how old I was suppose to be.

My reaction to motherhood has been a bit more 'grin and bear it.' Dont get me wrong, I love my kid, he's amazing, but I miss the life that Husband and I were just starting to enjoy as DINKs. Going to happy hour, going to dinner, having fun. I'm sure those things will return when Abe gets older, but part of me is still stomping my feet and saying 'I want it NOW!' Very Veruca Salt, I know. The world was just opening up, and my eyes were getting wide with wonder and desire. Now, there are multiple me's. There's a Mom me, a Responsible me, a childish-immature me, and young adult just exploring freedom of life me. Usually, the Mom and Responsible me wins out. But, if I had a sitter at my beck and call, I would think nothing of going out and painting the town with my Husband, living it up, staying in a hotel - in this world, I also have an unlimited supply of money, its my fantasy, lay off. I guess what I'm saying is that Motherhood is what I thought it would be, but it wasn't something I was ready for yet. I was hoping to get bored first.

Close...I'm 30.

I get what you mean - we had almost 7 years of DINK bliss. Spur of the moment travel, dinner out on the town, play pool at the bar on a weeknight, dispensable income...what fond memories I have. No way was I ready for kids when we were first married (I was also still in school) so I probably was a bit more ready for a change of pace than you may have been. In my dream world, I can afford a nanny that comes to my home to care for the baby and cleans for me during nap time.

I'm jealous. while I had 7 years of pre-grad school revelry before meeting my better half, financially as a couple, we've always been swamped by being in grad school and/or student loans. So no DINK honeymoon for us. The chance to be DI is just about to start in 2 days when her post-grad fellowship ends. but then I'm about to turn 36 and Dr.TK is almost 39.

yes, we want a nanny/au pair too (and good health insurance).

I know we've had a few conversations on vaccines but what about the flu shot for a 10 month old baby? i've never had a flu shot in my life and i've never had the flu.

Ether, I think it would depend on the situation. Abram is in a home daycare, so I'm not going to worry about it, but if he were in a large daycare, I would. Flu is a high cause of infant death still. I know that everytime we've taken Abe in for a fever, they've tested for it - poor kid.

I also have a question. Does anyone know where I can find metal cups? With all the questions surrounding plastic, I've been trying to stay away. I use glass bottles, and glass sauce cups for baby food, but Abe is getting to the age of sippy cups and such. While I figure I can use small metal mixing bowls, or mini tart pans, ect for bowls and plates respectively, I'm not sure what I can use for a sippy cup. Any suggestions?

thanks sarah. we aren't planning on putting rowan in a group daycare so maybe we can skip it.

here's a site for safe plastic stuff...

http://thesoftlanding.com/shop.html

metal cups are available through lots of granola 'green' products & camping stores/websites - the same place that sell sigg bottles for $30

onto baby news:

steven starr is on the verge of crawling. over the past week he's progressed from the 'skydiver' with arched back holding his legs and head up, to 'downward dog', to doing a push up.

He also enjoys 'jumping' where daddy hoists him up by the arms from standing in little hops. good for about 5 minutes of giggles and smiles. eventuality I gotta get some more pics.

I'll just weigh in, again, on the whole group daycare as relates to childhood illness thing.

Angus was in group daycare from three months and was sick with colds etc. the entire first two years of his life. Now he's in kindergarten and he's had only one cold in the last year. In contrast, my nephew was home until kindergarten and was almost held back in first grade because he missed so much school due to illness - he'd just never been exposed before and every bug knocked him flat! I honestly think the germs flying around every daycare are GOOD for kids - gets them over all the little bugs early and builds the immune system for later.

Again, this is only one person's experience and opinion.

Angus had a flu shot his first and second years, but not since then, simply because I'm not overly concerned and he hates shots, and even more I hate making him get them!

Abe gets his antibodies through all the things he chews on. Hee chomped down on the table at Steak and Shake the other day. I pulled him off, dont worry. I was just saying Flushot until at least a year old if they are a lot of influenza germs flying about. When Abe gets to preschool, I wont worry about it - unless they make me.

Old Fogey, can little boys use a urinal? Do they have to use the ADA one? The only time I've ever seen a urinal cake was in that movie 'Joe's Apartment.' Guess I won't ever have to handle that situation, since we don't have urinals, and therefore, no urinal cakes in the women's restroom. What are they for anyway? Do they just make the bowl sparkle? Are they a disinfectant, and so all your hand scrubbing is really un-needed, minus the psychological aspects of it all.

Do you guys really try to 'drill' a hole through it?

sarah, just wait and see.

drill hole.. haha.

great insight. thanks lb and OF.

Thats hilarious.

OF, how old is Miles? Little boys don't learn to pee standing up? I guess I thought it would be more fun that way, and thats just how they did it.

That is adorable, OldFogey! I never stopped to think of how you'd actually have to teach a boy how to pee standing up. Hilarious.

OF, my sitter says she puts pennies in a coffee can for boys to pee in. Makes lots of noise, and they like that. To be honest, I'm a little jealous. You boys get all the fun.

Ether, thats crazy.

I'm so jealous. The most we ever get are coat hooks on the doors.

So I punished Abe for the first time yesterday. Heres the story..

He wouldn't take a nap, all day, and so he was getting quite cranky. He had also begun this new thing where he tries to assert his will, and when he doesn't get his way, he throws a fit. Now I know that he's only 7 months old, and that all kids go through these sorts of things, but I figured I'd best nip it in the bud now. I was trying to get him to sleep, and yes I tried rocking, swinging, holding, singing, you name it, but nothing was working. So, I tried one last time to lay down on the couch with him, and sing him to sleep. Instead he went for my necklace. I told him No in a stern voice a few times, and even moved the pendant to the back, but he's smarter than that, and figured out how to pull on the thin chain to get the pendant back to the front. Finally, I covered the chain with my hand. He didn't like that. He took to clawing at my hand and my face. So, I got up, put him in th pack and play, took all the toys, blankets, and his pacifier out of the pack and play, and left the room. In the course of about 6 minutes, his cries went from pissed off, to hello - is anybody there, to I'm sorry, at which point I went and got him. He was very still and cuddly for about 5 minutes, and then he forgot the whole ordeal, and giggled. Then he went for my necklace.

What would you do? And don't say take the necklace off, cause I feel he needs to learn not to touch things when told not to - like the oven.

hahahahahahahahahaahah!

[sorry.]

welcome to the rest of your life. it won't be that bad, but you gotta know that there are NOT right answers, only the best answers you can come up with at any given time. he will assert himself and, at some level, that will be a good thing. sometimes it won't.

Steven, that was exactly my response....

Sarah, continue the lessons. You'll have to repeat it - and every other lesson, like don't wipe your mouth on your sleeve, don't draw on the wall, don't poke that doggie in the eye - about 50,000 times more before it sinks in, but it will.

One of my clients often reminds me that babies - all humans - are born with only two fears: falling, and loud noises. The loud "NO!" might* be the best course of action, as it's immediate. I'm not sure if, at 7 months, they can process that an action of two minutes ago resulted in me being all alone right now. Which isn't to say there is anything wrong with dumping him the crib and walking away - it definitely won't hurt him, and it gives you a minute to cool off.

*Of course, with Angus we often found that by the third loud NO! he was making a game of it and trying to get us to say it again - damn smartass. This is why I was afraid to have kids - I ALWAYS KNEW my kid would be smarter than me!

the theory that I'm going for is to distract steven starr with something else to do when he starts doing something inappropriate... while this hasn't been put to the test, i know he's smarter then me and will make a game of things like angus...

from his 4mo check up yesterday:
17.5lbs (not liberty bells, but pounds)
29" long/tall

(and he didn't pee on the scale as had been his style)

so after the round of shots, he was running a mild fever (as expected). good thing it got really cool last night- he helped keep me & the missus warm. this morning he seemed to be feeling better - the spiked formula with pain killers might also be working...

I know its been a while, but I have a question for every one who has had, or knows someone who has had an epidural.

Did you have pain, stiffness, or spasms at the injection site a year later? I just want to know if its normal.

Guess what?! I have succeeded in keeping my kid alive for a full year. I'm not sure who gets the credit most...me or him...but since I made him, I'm gonna take the credit. Its pretty amazing all the things that happen in just a year. He went from a lump, albeit a cute lump, to a boy, a real live boy. Yeah, I suppose he always was a boy, but, babies still don't quite seem human to me. They are babies, and just different. I can't really explain it, so I hope everyone that has had a kid will just understand. He still can't speak english, but he talks constantly, and he can't walk yet, unless he has something to hold on to. Turns out, he's also a climber. This will be a problem once he really starts walking, I guess. Also, he only has 4 teeth still, so he's not able to really break into dinner yet. But, he does try really hard to feed himself with a spoon; he dips it into the bowl, and then puts it into his mouth. Sadly, he doesnt quite have the skills to really make it work, but he's got the motions down.

Here's a quick montage of his year.



And I have learned that the hormones don't go back to normal until the breastfeeding is done. Pumping for a year SUCKS, but is hard to stop. What is it they say...6 months of something makes it a lifestyle change? Yeah, I'd say my lifestyle has changed, but I wouldn't take him back. No. I like him too much.

Yep, what a cutie!

And honestly, they are just little lima beans at first, then they start to be infants, then they enter the adorable baby stage. Then they become little people, with little opinions, and that's when the trouble starts...

OK, honestly, the trouble starts at birth and continues for the next, um, rest of eternity. Your heart walking around outside of your body, indeed.

Happy birthday Abram!

he's cute he looks like butters!

Vado, once again yuo have me going...'Huh?'

Butters!

spot on, vado! don't worry sarah, butters is lovable.

of course, butters is nowhere near as cute as abram. no worries sarah.

Can you believe it's been two years? In the last year, Abram has learned to walk, run, jump, ride a tricycle, climb on everything, feed himself, draw circles, and use a potty - with assistance of course. If we continued to learn at the rate young children do, we'd have figured out a cure for cancer, world hunger, and be living on the moon!

In honor of Abram's birthday, a few photos. Happy Birthday!

Failed Again!

Those curls! SO AMAZING! He's adorable. It gets better and better (and more and more challenging, of course...)