how do you deal with diminishing/waning skills, especially in areas you were once competent/enjoyed?
background: a rather large, rather banal project i'm working on has reached a phase i haven't seen in a few years (thanks to the economy). this has lead to a struggle doing things that used to be routine and enjoyable - or at least, not mind-numbing.
issues that contributed to present situation:
a. pigeonholed into smaller roles (detail some windows guy, precedent guy, render guy, etc) that left 'normal' archi-operations playing a fairly minimal role
b. coping with mild depression which has had a fairly debilitating effect, especially wrt putting 'pencil to paper'
c. my interests and professional goals in architecture haven't been meshing well with work
d. lack of mentorship, office standards, general QAQC
i find the longer it's been since i've done something, the less i care about doing it, the less i want to deal with it. naturally, this is something i'd like to be a little proactive on, and am soliciting rational advice.
how have you dealt with conditions of architectural atrophy?
i would say, have hope. whatever you are working/doing nowadays is preparing you for for tomorrow. if you have areas that you perceive as weaknesses, perhaps you can focus your attention on them so that you become stronger in those areas.
you're in seattle, right? take vitamin d supplements. friends of mine live up there and after awhile, she was hit pretty hard by the lack of sunlight. she went to the doc and got set up with some supplements. worth looking into.
keep your head up trooper...and look on the bright side, you have a job. a lot of us don't.
is there any way to re-evaluate whatever methods you had/enjoyed previously regarding the particular task you're doing? It might not effect the output or product in this instance, but at least having the question might rev back up your interest.
Don't wait your job to fulfill your "higher" needs - find other outlets to enjoy/practice meaningfull architecture.
Read, do (non-bullshit) competitions, travel, ... or work with some "own" project, whatever it might be - you have often so little control over work-related things that being carefull about which fights to pick is essential for your happiness and well-being.
(This is what I think, and these are the things I do.)
Not going because I can't fix my car. The distributor seems to have an extra part (leak cover) that's totally not in my manual. Don't have the right tools to unscrew this giant bolt off the engine block.
Spent cigarette money on ignition coil. Now officially going into nicotine panic mode.
Bicycle tire flat. Need car to buy bicycle tire.
So no bank, booze or money for me.
Could call a taxi but they have a 20 dollar surcharge (no taxi company near me).
I have 3 application packets that must get out today by 1:00 p.m. to make postmark and delivery in time as they have to be taken to the central Post Office.
Can't drink this one off. Can't find some sort of illicit fun because I need a car for the hot, ghetto illicit action. Can't even sleep this one off because I need a car to buy sleeping pills.
This is starting to become a repetitive cycle of little money, little tools, little money to buy tools and needing tools to make money.
...
I have yet to get any real non-backhanded compliments on my portfolio or resume. In fact, I pretty much never received feedback in any way other than hate mail from strangers. I just really want to know whether or not I suck.
Depression? Read all of the above.
I have no work or really any perception of work for anything to be or not be meshing.
And D... well, I think I explained that one.
I've tried doing architectural and planning-related things online, offline, competitions but I always feel a little dead-ended by any of that.
I feel like a big portion of a lot of these things are blatantly my fault. At the same time, I don't think the area where I live at is conducive to any sort of anything at all.
I feel like my car issues are holding me back far more than my bar issues are.
And to top it all off, my watch seems to have been confiscated by customs [at least I know it was real!].
I agree with Helsinki: "find other outlets to enjoy/practice meaningfull architecture."
take some art classes, or learn something new like photography, or woodworking or welding, pottery, glass blowing, etc. maybe take a class at the Pratt Art Center in seattle? it's good as a diversion, other creative outlet, and you can also meet some new people outside of architecture...
or do a competition... but i think the key to job satisfaction, for me at least is 50% the work, and 50% the comradery that comes with doing work... if either is missing, the work is not really enjoyable anymore, and I find another outlet... Of course, not every job is going to be all interesting, but that's why other outlets are worthwhile, but I think best done with other people, shared creative outlets are better than alone...
I think I've been feeling a bit of the same things too... It may be not just the project, but the whole economic environment, layoffs, difficulty getting new work, etc. weighing down on morale, but I've been seeing that alot lately, so I don't think you're alone...
i'd say: just do your best to get stuff done at work, meet your schedules and deliver what is needed, maintain that paycheck, but find your outlets someplace else... you can always change offices later, but right now is probably not the best time to be job hunting in seattle...
regarding the difficulty doing mundane tasks and putting pencil to paper: just start doing it, set a time goal to get it done, like 2 hours and stick to it...focus and stay organized... Do it to get it done, review it and fix stuff... and then leave at 5 and enjoy your other outlets after work...
go for drinks with friends. sometimes work is just a job... i'm in seattle too, if you want to grab a drink sometime, give me an email... the best therapy is a beer... :P
I feel your pain holz.box. I was just talking to a co-worker of mine (that isn't going to say anything to anyone) about something similar to this. The feeling was mutual. You feel disconnected from the design, tasks are assigned and not enough information is provided, etc. You need to feel like there is a connection between the task that you have an the progression of the project. It sounds like you are ready for more responsibility too.
I have definitely felt architectural atrophy. But, I am very aware of what I am interested in and how I can push forward. I always keep my personal career goals in mind on a week to week basis. I alternate between my personal side projects, artwork and competitions to keep my career goals moving forward and to build my portfolio. Also, I alternate between "productive" work and "theoretical" work or researching to change it up and keep my mind going. There is always something that one can do to shine the flashlight on the path in front of you. The first thing that you have to do is identify steps that you can take to move forward. You may have to be a little bit more selfish.
i think basically that is the story of every architecture, engineering, and construction firm right now... people coping with the tough economy, etc. no work, going after jobs, layoffs, missing colleagues and friends at the office, loss of some energy and momentum, etc.
i think most offices are feeling some of that, so you're not alone...
keep your head up, also, don't worry too much, roll with the punches...
I wonder if the discussion I just posted entitled, 'Is any experience good experience?' precursory to your situation and concerns?
Is it just a blessed and lucky few who get the mentoring and experience we all hear about in school? The rest end up curmudgeon project managers and draftspeople...or work at burger king?
Holz - I know exactly what you're going through. I'm coming to grips with it myself, and I'm finding it pretty difficult. I have very little motivation at work these days, and its showing: I come in late constantly and then there is an obvious lack of focus and enthusiasm for my work. Don't get me wrong though, if there is something to be done, I get it done. Hell, I do more than what I've been asked. But yes, large slow projects do kind of drag you down a bit. I'm feeling it too. Its nice to have because you feel pretty secure, but you get kind of bored with it because its so big and slow.
I'm just going to study hardcore on the GREs so that I have more options for advanced degrees and take AREs that I'm eligible for now. I'm basically hoping to plan for the future instead of being paralyzed by the poor conditions of the present (which is not too bad in perspective). I have to constantly remind myself not to be standing still because too much time to think on your own is just too much.
i don’t take supplements (mrs. holz doesn’t believe in them) - i do see a therapist 2x a month. i’ve got a sunlamp which sorta works.
i was doing things outside the office (lectures, afh/awb, side projects, competitions and meeting up w/ green folks) to deal with the less than desirable work situation – but these have pretty much run their course…
bRink – beer is key. i definitely need to drink more.
Larch – i think it’s been really good to see how i do not want to run a firm (the lack of marketing, standards is a huge struggle – i don’t want to reinvent the wheel every time i draw a detail). But i am getting exposure to a large project, and have a lot of responsibility – which is a positive. I am just not where i want to be professionally, nor have I been getting the work i signed on for. i haven’t really had a mentor, since i was in germany.
slart – you’ve hit it dead on (especially about lack of motivation). your advice to look towards the future is actually what i talked about with my therapist today – start taking AREs and look at ways to open doors in coming months. which is great, except for the standing still bit.
thanks for the thoughts, guys. i didn’t expect this many positive responses.
major props for having the courage to see someone.
i went to therapy for about a year at one point and it was really hard at times, but one of the best things i've ever done.
it's really important, to yourself and loved ones, to understand yourself and learn how to live honestly.
what is more upsetting, not getting the type of work you want at this office or the projects themselves being disappointing? i struggle with both all the time.
Well, not to take out all the light-heartedness of the drinking comment, but lets make sure its not for the sake of drinking and/or forgetting. I know some people that do that, and I can say that is NOT helpful. Having a good time with good friends (or good strangers) over some drinks is a different matter - the drinking is secondary.
Holz - Don't just open doors, knock them down! Kick them in if you have to!
Alright, now I seriously should start working now that the day is almost over.
ultimatums from the s.o. and parents were all the, um, courage i needed. i’ve been seeing present therapist for about a year. it’s definitely helped a lot, and made coping with the realities of my present situation easier.
it’s a bit of both that i have been struggling with. when interviewing for present job, there was a definite understanding of what i was looking for (innovative/green), what i was not looking for (interiors, busy work), what i wanted professionally (pushing green, LEED, etc) and how they could help me get there (relevant experience). there were some potentially great projects i was supposedly a good fit for, especially with my green background. those projects were the sole reason i took this job, passing up an offer from another firm doing somewhat innovative green work.
unfortunately, none of that panned out. outside of one (ungreen) project (that i really had to push to not be terrible) the types of projects i’ve been getting have been extremely disappointing and the type of work i’ve been getting in the office, comparatively, has been a huge let down. that’s not to say i think i deserve the best projects in the office, i don’t. but it would be a lot easier if the dung pile stopped growing quite so large. i am unsure i can adequately express how i’ve been struggling, without looking ungrateful. it’s been weird. i'm sure a large part of it is that i dwell on the past and let my work define who i am.
slart, no worries on the 'drinking to forget' bit – just meant it’s good to be social, and i’ve been a bit of a recluse the last few months.
"i'm sure a large part of it is that i dwell on the past and let my work define who i am.
"
Well this is problematic. When you have little control or enjoyment in your work, you are bound to be demotivated. Particularly if your past work and/or school work was passionate and interesting.
For my part, my day job is completely uninspiring. My interests lie elsewhere and I am slowly working in transforming my life. But most days are a frustrating waste of precious time.
yeah, sorry, true... didn't mean to encourage alcoholism, good point... :)
but seriously, i the point with the "have a drink" comment is: trust in the comradery of your friends and colleagues and lean on the *social* aspects of your people around you outside of the work atmosphere... the drink is just a medium for communication among peers who know where you are coming from, whether you work together or not...
i don’t take supplements (mrs. holz doesn’t believe in them)
But what do you believe in? If you think the way out of this is through some supplements, than the fact that you're withheld by the mrs. can only make you feel worse. If you can not take charge at your job, than at least at home. It's easy to say you don't believe in supplements when you're feeling fine. It may sound strange, but do you eat meat? Some good ol' red meat can help raise your testosterone level and give you more vitality and energy.
Some good ol' red meat can help raise your testosterone level and give you more vitality and energy.
large quantities of red meat always makes me feel dizzy, slightly queasy, and needing to take a big crap - pretty far from the virile dynamo you describe. (though i do love me an 1 1/2" thick delmonico every now and then.) i think it's wiser to take the advice of the mrs. over some dude on archinect. no offense.
i really feel that your struggles are felt by so many people in this industry. start off with idealism and optimism of a redwood to just be whittled down to toothpick size after project after project of meaningless drivel. but you got to make a living etc. most people just end up doing the work or better yet they don't make the distinction between worthy and worthless and have no problem calling out that vinyl base trim note for the gazillioneth time. most people who did care at one time have found some other outlet to give a shit about. whether its photography or family or whatever. most professions are letdowns but very few begin from a position of passion. i doubt, for example, that an accountant suffers the same existential questions (beyond being bored but we werent expecting that were we?) as architects do. hey at least you probably got some nice dockers over the years.
the whole reason i eat so much red meat is to take big craps...
this is a good topic. i'm not quite sure what to do about the architectural atrophy, now that i've been out of work for the better part of almost a year and a half. the advice i get from people is: work on competitions, do shop drawings for people, sit on reviews. but there is still entirely too much time in the day.
i was extremely depressed, so i moved 24 hours west. it has helped some.
I'm with you holz. I've been out of work for about a year now (with some brief smatterings of freelance work in between). There was a good 5 month period where I wasn't doing anything. I would wake up every morning thinking I was going to work on my portfolio, do some networking, enter a competition, or read some books. 8 hours later, all I had accomplished was going through more of the Hulu catalog, and increasing my self loathing and apathy.
It wasn't until about a month ago when I despised myself just enough to put an end to it, and forced myself to do all the things I had promised myself 6 months earlier. I still don't have a full time job, but I've since had a few informational interviews, been working on some furniture pieces in a friend's shop, and started a blog; nothing significant, but all things I needed to do to keep myself creatively stimulated. I still have days where I can't bring myself to accomplish anything; but I've found that I enjoyed trying to be optimistic much more then self defeating.
If this doesn't work I'll just run away to the Swiss mountain side and design tool sheds for farmers. That and there's some more Hulu I haven't watched yet.
sounds like that job didn't pan out, phu. shit, man. shoot me the blog. i imagine there is lots of fodder, especially after the NTAAB thread.
hulu... yeah, i'm really lucky that i haven't mandered to hulu, facebook, etc. archinect is enough of a time suck...
i might dive into more green stuff, but apart from actually building, i don't know how much i can learn from reading green blogs/reports/LEED submittals...
running off to the swiss mountainside might not be a bad idea, i know a guy that somehow got a job there in the last 6 months.
this was passed on to me today - it's kinda fitting...
via the happiness project
[blockquote]
So my new-and-improved formula for happiness is this: being happier requires you to thinking about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth...
...To feel happy, it’s not enough to have fun with your friends, and not feel guilty about yelling all the time, and feel like you’re working in the right job; you also need to feel growth—a sense of learning, of betterment, of advancement, of contributing to the growth of others.
[/blockquote]
Now that I'm retired, and working on projects in fits and starts, I realize the importance of having something in front of you, to think about and plan for, daily. Work (occupation -- could be "play") keeps the boogie man away. We are meant to be doing something. . .
Dec 7, 09 10:30 pm ·
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architectural atrophy
how do you deal with diminishing/waning skills, especially in areas you were once competent/enjoyed?
background: a rather large, rather banal project i'm working on has reached a phase i haven't seen in a few years (thanks to the economy). this has lead to a struggle doing things that used to be routine and enjoyable - or at least, not mind-numbing.
issues that contributed to present situation:
a. pigeonholed into smaller roles (detail some windows guy, precedent guy, render guy, etc) that left 'normal' archi-operations playing a fairly minimal role
b. coping with mild depression which has had a fairly debilitating effect, especially wrt putting 'pencil to paper'
c. my interests and professional goals in architecture haven't been meshing well with work
d. lack of mentorship, office standards, general QAQC
i find the longer it's been since i've done something, the less i care about doing it, the less i want to deal with it. naturally, this is something i'd like to be a little proactive on, and am soliciting rational advice.
how have you dealt with conditions of architectural atrophy?
good topic...
i would say, have hope. whatever you are working/doing nowadays is preparing you for for tomorrow. if you have areas that you perceive as weaknesses, perhaps you can focus your attention on them so that you become stronger in those areas.
you're in seattle, right? take vitamin d supplements. friends of mine live up there and after awhile, she was hit pretty hard by the lack of sunlight. she went to the doc and got set up with some supplements. worth looking into.
keep your head up trooper...and look on the bright side, you have a job. a lot of us don't.
is there any way to re-evaluate whatever methods you had/enjoyed previously regarding the particular task you're doing? It might not effect the output or product in this instance, but at least having the question might rev back up your interest.
take two doses of archinect and post in the morning how you are doing.
see a therapist 2x a month and vent, then work on picking up your self esteem and get back to doing things that feed you.
Don't wait your job to fulfill your "higher" needs - find other outlets to enjoy/practice meaningfull architecture.
Read, do (non-bullshit) competitions, travel, ... or work with some "own" project, whatever it might be - you have often so little control over work-related things that being carefull about which fights to pick is essential for your happiness and well-being.
(This is what I think, and these are the things I do.)
helsinki, i am doing the same thing, except i have no job.
Sorry to hear that - hope you are doing ok financially.
"sustaining"
Holz, I really feel you today.
I had a pseudo interview today.
Not going because I can't fix my car. The distributor seems to have an extra part (leak cover) that's totally not in my manual. Don't have the right tools to unscrew this giant bolt off the engine block.
Spent cigarette money on ignition coil. Now officially going into nicotine panic mode.
Bicycle tire flat. Need car to buy bicycle tire.
So no bank, booze or money for me.
Could call a taxi but they have a 20 dollar surcharge (no taxi company near me).
I have 3 application packets that must get out today by 1:00 p.m. to make postmark and delivery in time as they have to be taken to the central Post Office.
Can't drink this one off. Can't find some sort of illicit fun because I need a car for the hot, ghetto illicit action. Can't even sleep this one off because I need a car to buy sleeping pills.
This is starting to become a repetitive cycle of little money, little tools, little money to buy tools and needing tools to make money.
...
I have yet to get any real non-backhanded compliments on my portfolio or resume. In fact, I pretty much never received feedback in any way other than hate mail from strangers. I just really want to know whether or not I suck.
Depression? Read all of the above.
I have no work or really any perception of work for anything to be or not be meshing.
And D... well, I think I explained that one.
I've tried doing architectural and planning-related things online, offline, competitions but I always feel a little dead-ended by any of that.
I feel like a big portion of a lot of these things are blatantly my fault. At the same time, I don't think the area where I live at is conducive to any sort of anything at all.
I feel like my car issues are holding me back far more than my bar issues are.
And to top it all off, my watch seems to have been confiscated by customs [at least I know it was real!].
I agree with Helsinki: "find other outlets to enjoy/practice meaningfull architecture."
take some art classes, or learn something new like photography, or woodworking or welding, pottery, glass blowing, etc. maybe take a class at the Pratt Art Center in seattle? it's good as a diversion, other creative outlet, and you can also meet some new people outside of architecture...
or do a competition... but i think the key to job satisfaction, for me at least is 50% the work, and 50% the comradery that comes with doing work... if either is missing, the work is not really enjoyable anymore, and I find another outlet... Of course, not every job is going to be all interesting, but that's why other outlets are worthwhile, but I think best done with other people, shared creative outlets are better than alone...
I think I've been feeling a bit of the same things too... It may be not just the project, but the whole economic environment, layoffs, difficulty getting new work, etc. weighing down on morale, but I've been seeing that alot lately, so I don't think you're alone...
i'd say: just do your best to get stuff done at work, meet your schedules and deliver what is needed, maintain that paycheck, but find your outlets someplace else... you can always change offices later, but right now is probably not the best time to be job hunting in seattle...
regarding the difficulty doing mundane tasks and putting pencil to paper: just start doing it, set a time goal to get it done, like 2 hours and stick to it...focus and stay organized... Do it to get it done, review it and fix stuff... and then leave at 5 and enjoy your other outlets after work...
go for drinks with friends. sometimes work is just a job... i'm in seattle too, if you want to grab a drink sometime, give me an email... the best therapy is a beer... :P
I feel your pain holz.box. I was just talking to a co-worker of mine (that isn't going to say anything to anyone) about something similar to this. The feeling was mutual. You feel disconnected from the design, tasks are assigned and not enough information is provided, etc. You need to feel like there is a connection between the task that you have an the progression of the project. It sounds like you are ready for more responsibility too.
I have definitely felt architectural atrophy. But, I am very aware of what I am interested in and how I can push forward. I always keep my personal career goals in mind on a week to week basis. I alternate between my personal side projects, artwork and competitions to keep my career goals moving forward and to build my portfolio. Also, I alternate between "productive" work and "theoretical" work or researching to change it up and keep my mind going. There is always something that one can do to shine the flashlight on the path in front of you. The first thing that you have to do is identify steps that you can take to move forward. You may have to be a little bit more selfish.
i think basically that is the story of every architecture, engineering, and construction firm right now... people coping with the tough economy, etc. no work, going after jobs, layoffs, missing colleagues and friends at the office, loss of some energy and momentum, etc.
i think most offices are feeling some of that, so you're not alone...
keep your head up, also, don't worry too much, roll with the punches...
that's what unpaid interns are for. as i noticed my "skills" slipping, i just bring on more talented kids to work for free.
holz.box......you can fine tune your skills, develop new ones, etc if/when you find outlets that you can apply them to.
To the OP:
I wonder if the discussion I just posted entitled, 'Is any experience good experience?' precursory to your situation and concerns?
Is it just a blessed and lucky few who get the mentoring and experience we all hear about in school? The rest end up curmudgeon project managers and draftspeople...or work at burger king?
Holz - I know exactly what you're going through. I'm coming to grips with it myself, and I'm finding it pretty difficult. I have very little motivation at work these days, and its showing: I come in late constantly and then there is an obvious lack of focus and enthusiasm for my work. Don't get me wrong though, if there is something to be done, I get it done. Hell, I do more than what I've been asked. But yes, large slow projects do kind of drag you down a bit. I'm feeling it too. Its nice to have because you feel pretty secure, but you get kind of bored with it because its so big and slow.
I'm just going to study hardcore on the GREs so that I have more options for advanced degrees and take AREs that I'm eligible for now. I'm basically hoping to plan for the future instead of being paralyzed by the poor conditions of the present (which is not too bad in perspective). I have to constantly remind myself not to be standing still because too much time to think on your own is just too much.
this is the thing that i’m struggling with most…
i don’t take supplements (mrs. holz doesn’t believe in them) - i do see a therapist 2x a month. i’ve got a sunlamp which sorta works.
i was doing things outside the office (lectures, afh/awb, side projects, competitions and meeting up w/ green folks) to deal with the less than desirable work situation – but these have pretty much run their course…
bRink – beer is key. i definitely need to drink more.
Larch – i think it’s been really good to see how i do not want to run a firm (the lack of marketing, standards is a huge struggle – i don’t want to reinvent the wheel every time i draw a detail). But i am getting exposure to a large project, and have a lot of responsibility – which is a positive. I am just not where i want to be professionally, nor have I been getting the work i signed on for. i haven’t really had a mentor, since i was in germany.
slart – you’ve hit it dead on (especially about lack of motivation). your advice to look towards the future is actually what i talked about with my therapist today – start taking AREs and look at ways to open doors in coming months. which is great, except for the standing still bit.
thanks for the thoughts, guys. i didn’t expect this many positive responses.
major props for having the courage to see someone.
i went to therapy for about a year at one point and it was really hard at times, but one of the best things i've ever done.
it's really important, to yourself and loved ones, to understand yourself and learn how to live honestly.
what is more upsetting, not getting the type of work you want at this office or the projects themselves being disappointing? i struggle with both all the time.
Well, not to take out all the light-heartedness of the drinking comment, but lets make sure its not for the sake of drinking and/or forgetting. I know some people that do that, and I can say that is NOT helpful. Having a good time with good friends (or good strangers) over some drinks is a different matter - the drinking is secondary.
Holz - Don't just open doors, knock them down! Kick them in if you have to!
Alright, now I seriously should start working now that the day is almost over.
ultimatums from the s.o. and parents were all the, um, courage i needed. i’ve been seeing present therapist for about a year. it’s definitely helped a lot, and made coping with the realities of my present situation easier.
it’s a bit of both that i have been struggling with. when interviewing for present job, there was a definite understanding of what i was looking for (innovative/green), what i was not looking for (interiors, busy work), what i wanted professionally (pushing green, LEED, etc) and how they could help me get there (relevant experience). there were some potentially great projects i was supposedly a good fit for, especially with my green background. those projects were the sole reason i took this job, passing up an offer from another firm doing somewhat innovative green work.
unfortunately, none of that panned out. outside of one (ungreen) project (that i really had to push to not be terrible) the types of projects i’ve been getting have been extremely disappointing and the type of work i’ve been getting in the office, comparatively, has been a huge let down. that’s not to say i think i deserve the best projects in the office, i don’t. but it would be a lot easier if the dung pile stopped growing quite so large. i am unsure i can adequately express how i’ve been struggling, without looking ungrateful. it’s been weird. i'm sure a large part of it is that i dwell on the past and let my work define who i am.
slart, no worries on the 'drinking to forget' bit – just meant it’s good to be social, and i’ve been a bit of a recluse the last few months.
kicking down doors may be an ideal tactic!
"If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger." - Frank Lloyd Wright
holz and others, nice response.
"i'm sure a large part of it is that i dwell on the past and let my work define who i am.
"
Well this is problematic. When you have little control or enjoyment in your work, you are bound to be demotivated. Particularly if your past work and/or school work was passionate and interesting.
For my part, my day job is completely uninspiring. My interests lie elsewhere and I am slowly working in transforming my life. But most days are a frustrating waste of precious time.
yeah, sorry, true... didn't mean to encourage alcoholism, good point... :)
but seriously, i the point with the "have a drink" comment is: trust in the comradery of your friends and colleagues and lean on the *social* aspects of your people around you outside of the work atmosphere... the drink is just a medium for communication among peers who know where you are coming from, whether you work together or not...
But what do you believe in? If you think the way out of this is through some supplements, than the fact that you're withheld by the mrs. can only make you feel worse. If you can not take charge at your job, than at least at home. It's easy to say you don't believe in supplements when you're feeling fine. It may sound strange, but do you eat meat? Some good ol' red meat can help raise your testosterone level and give you more vitality and energy.
large quantities of red meat always makes me feel dizzy, slightly queasy, and needing to take a big crap - pretty far from the virile dynamo you describe. (though i do love me an 1 1/2" thick delmonico every now and then.) i think it's wiser to take the advice of the mrs. over some dude on archinect. no offense.
i really feel that your struggles are felt by so many people in this industry. start off with idealism and optimism of a redwood to just be whittled down to toothpick size after project after project of meaningless drivel. but you got to make a living etc. most people just end up doing the work or better yet they don't make the distinction between worthy and worthless and have no problem calling out that vinyl base trim note for the gazillioneth time. most people who did care at one time have found some other outlet to give a shit about. whether its photography or family or whatever. most professions are letdowns but very few begin from a position of passion. i doubt, for example, that an accountant suffers the same existential questions (beyond being bored but we werent expecting that were we?) as architects do. hey at least you probably got some nice dockers over the years.
mrs. holz is a PhD candidate and R.D. - i'll defer to her expertise wrt red meat and supplements.
there is (thankfully) an office ban on dockers, vado.
the whole reason i eat so much red meat is to take big craps...
this is a good topic. i'm not quite sure what to do about the architectural atrophy, now that i've been out of work for the better part of almost a year and a half. the advice i get from people is: work on competitions, do shop drawings for people, sit on reviews. but there is still entirely too much time in the day.
i was extremely depressed, so i moved 24 hours west. it has helped some.
I'm with you holz. I've been out of work for about a year now (with some brief smatterings of freelance work in between). There was a good 5 month period where I wasn't doing anything. I would wake up every morning thinking I was going to work on my portfolio, do some networking, enter a competition, or read some books. 8 hours later, all I had accomplished was going through more of the Hulu catalog, and increasing my self loathing and apathy.
It wasn't until about a month ago when I despised myself just enough to put an end to it, and forced myself to do all the things I had promised myself 6 months earlier. I still don't have a full time job, but I've since had a few informational interviews, been working on some furniture pieces in a friend's shop, and started a blog; nothing significant, but all things I needed to do to keep myself creatively stimulated. I still have days where I can't bring myself to accomplish anything; but I've found that I enjoyed trying to be optimistic much more then self defeating.
If this doesn't work I'll just run away to the Swiss mountain side and design tool sheds for farmers. That and there's some more Hulu I haven't watched yet.
sounds like that job didn't pan out, phu. shit, man. shoot me the blog. i imagine there is lots of fodder, especially after the NTAAB thread.
hulu... yeah, i'm really lucky that i haven't mandered to hulu, facebook, etc. archinect is enough of a time suck...
i might dive into more green stuff, but apart from actually building, i don't know how much i can learn from reading green blogs/reports/LEED submittals...
running off to the swiss mountainside might not be a bad idea, i know a guy that somehow got a job there in the last 6 months.
this was passed on to me today - it's kinda fitting...
via the happiness project
[blockquote]
So my new-and-improved formula for happiness is this: being happier requires you to thinking about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth...
...To feel happy, it’s not enough to have fun with your friends, and not feel guilty about yelling all the time, and feel like you’re working in the right job; you also need to feel growth—a sense of learning, of betterment, of advancement, of contributing to the growth of others.
[/blockquote]
ah christ. maybe i should start teaching...
Now that I'm retired, and working on projects in fits and starts, I realize the importance of having something in front of you, to think about and plan for, daily. Work (occupation -- could be "play") keeps the boogie man away. We are meant to be doing something. . .
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