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The date is January 20, 2009. Barack Obama is sworn in as our 44th President, much to everyone's relief. He wears a suit, tie, overcoat and gloves, but later, many will swear that they saw him in rags with a halo (left).
On January 21, 2009, an eclipse unexpectedly happens, changing the lives of many forever. For with the eclipse comes newfound superpowers, bestowed upon those who were previously known as "Archinectors"... |
| Soon after discovering their superpowers, the Archinectors of Thread Central, aka the Thread Central Heroes, decide to help President Obama fix the U.S. and the World with his message of hope, change, hope, healing, and hope. Betadineligatures is the first TCHero to sign on to the plan, but his recently acquired ability to literally "go nuclear" becomes a problem when his Obama-joy collides with years of pent-up Bush-frustration. |  |
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Abracadabra, founder of the Thread Central Heroes, stops aging due to his sudden immunity to pain and illness. He becomes the official coordinator and communications director of the group. Later, TCHeroes will learn that his dispatches have all come from the beach. |
| Another TCHero, Living in Gin, aka LIG, develops the ability to slay all things AutoDesk, red-tape, or code related. The ensuing piles of shredded paper and destroyed electronics are used to create new islands in the Upper New York Bay. |  |
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Following the eclipse, TCHero Liberty Bell suddenly realizes her superpower: Fabulousness. She becomes the biggest financial backer of the TCHeros - and later the largest employer of designers in the country, thus reversing the recession - when she takes her Fabulousness on a worldwide tour, charging $5600 per ticket, with free design services included. |
| Namhenderson receives the ability to heal sick buildings. He gets through Michigan and Illinois but later becomes distracted by Christmas music. |  |
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Rationalist discovers that she is good with fire. She can create it, throw it, juggle it, and use it to warm entire portions of the gloomy, wet Northwest. Occasionally she takes breaks to impress people by breathing it at parties. |
| Architechnophilia is a legendary leader of leisure. However, as a TCHero, his smile is so blinding and his charm is so intense that no one notices as he funnels resources from wealthy Caribbean island nations to poorer ones. |  |
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N_ uses her newfound ninja stealth to end the Iraq war, assist in the capture of Osama bin Laden, and locate North Korea's stash of enriched uranium. She was last seen ... actually, no one is quite sure where she was last seen. However, there have been a rash of invisible shoe-throwings outside of George W. Bush's new home in Dallas. |
| Treekiller's sinister name belies his superpower ability to heal brownfields, polluted rivers, and toxic waste sites around North America. Occasionally his light sabre grazes a tree ... from which he fashions small exile shacks for disgraced CEOs and corrupt politicians. |  |
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WonderK sets about slashing the carbon emissions of buildings in urban areas across the country. It takes her longer to get to suburban and rural areas because, quite frankly, she can only pedal so fast. |
| Steven Ward's even temperment, energy, and superior intellect allow him to continue practicing architecture in his spare time while taking on his new mission: the herculean task of rescuing America's public school youth from slipping into the clutches of gangs, drugs, or - god help us - high school musicals. |  |
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After a brief and phonetically-challenging period during which she calls herself "The Artist Formerly Known as ****", Melt discovers her innate ability to make plants grow at warp speed by simply talking to them. What she doesn't tell you is that they grow even faster when she speaks to them in German... |
| Vado Retro will fly. High and far. |  |
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Mantaray will, to put it simply, kick some (bleep)ing a$$. And look (bleep)ing good doing it. |
| Jump finds that he can, er, jump. And then stick to things. Web-like material and swinging from buildings may or may not be involved. It's called "routine maintenance." |  |
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No TCHero has a more difficult or unenviable job than Snook Dude, who is tasked with fighting the supervillians in building inspection departments across the country. While he is given a full arsenal of weaponry to work with, his most useful trait turns out to be his ability to time travel, since, honestly, who has time for their nonsense? |
| In 2009, Cameron will continue his good work of bringing shelter to underpriviledged areas and communities, but unfortunately even he was unprepared to deal with Mordor. |  |
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Alexander Walter always knew that he had a way with machines, but in 2009 he will talk to them. This comes in handy when a group of douchebags, formerly of Bush's energy department, invent Skynet. |
| Archinect Paul, aka "The Architect", hits the reset button on the Matrix at the end of 2009. Luckily this results not in the demise of the TCHeroes, but rather, in the eagerly anticpated NEW Archinect. Just in time for Christmas! |  |
