I recently married a non-architect and am trying to decide the best way to continue using my maiden name professionally. I have built my professional network using my maiden name and am still hanging on to the idea that I will start my own practice sometime in the next 10 years. I've always thought my maiden name was great! It is important to my husband that I take his name, and I don't really object to that either.

I'd like to have my cake and eat it too.

For now, I think it would be possible to legally take his name and be processed through HR with my married name, and just request that day to day correspondence and my email address use my maiden name. Coworkers and colleagues would not need to know of my married name to avoid confusion. But, 10 years from now, when I start my own firm, how will that work? Would I would legally own it under my married name and Do Business As under my maiden name?

Has anyone else resolved this scenario? What have other married folks done? Thanks for your help!

Can't help, been thinking about this one myself. It's a tough one. The part that makes me even more frustrated is that I can't stand my maiden name and would love to ditch it.

my wife (non-arch) hyphenated her name, as she had already published several articles under her maiden name.

she goes by smith in her professional, smith-holz for other. unlike manta, she loves her maiden name. i had no issues with her keeping her maiden name - but i'm all new age-y progressive like that.

I am curious too!

When I got married last year I initially planned to take my husband's name, but then I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had always dreamed of opening my own firm one day, and even though I am fairly certain I have changed my mind on that issue, I felt like changing my name would symbolize that I had given up on the dream and admitted to myself that I would never do it.

I have spent a lot of time in school and in the profession working hard to make a good name for myself and I hate to give that up. I thought about using my maiden name for work but decided that would just be too confusing.

I am still considering changing it when I have a kid. I am torn on the issue.

i changed my name only b/c i was getting married right after school and before starting my career. I also liked his name better.

my MIL never changed her name (before it was fashionable) and hasn't regretted it, save some confusion with older generations.

many of my girlfriends have kept their maiden names and i probably would have done the same if the timing had been different.

You want to keep your stamp in your maiden name? You can always do a business with your maiden Name...cause no one really cares what your business is called. It is known as, "Doing Business As"
I'm not so sure about the Architectural Registration Stamp thing. It might be good to cold call your state registration board and see what they have to say. If that doesn't work call, "Prince" he has done a number of strange things with his name over the years. Be careful...or you might end up like Cat Stevens...and your coming and going out of the country could be difficult.

Oh, if I didn't dislike my maiden name, I would absolutely keep it. I don't really see any reason to randomly change names to your husband's when you get married. Do you transfer to him like property? It's bizarre.

(Except that I'm looking for a reason to ditch mine. The plan was going smoothly until I began establishing contacts for myself pre-marriage. Now not so sure what I'll do. Luckily I don't have to decide soon.)

Incidentally, my best friend's husband took her name when they were married. One of the reasons I love him. He didn't think anything of it at all. Just like, "ok sure, I don't have any special reason to keep mine, and yours is important to you, so lets take yours -- I'll join you in supporting your family name." Very supportive and made a good statement -- all the stronger for it not being an intentional statement!

I like my name and don't think I'll ever change it, unless my future/imaginary husband has a really cool last name, in which case I'll consider hyphenating for the phone book.

Sorry that's probably not very helpful, but that's my $.02. As usual mantaray has already said most of the stuff I would say :o)

make the husband take your name, it's the progressive thing to do.

snook's right that your state board should be able to answer this. My sister uses her maiden name professionally - she's a licensed professional - and her married name personally (driver's license, mortgage) and it hasn't been a problem, but every state is different.

My husband wanted me to take his name. But I suffered through elementary school with my last name and refused to give it up as an adult - I feel I've earned it, and I'm proud of how ridiculous it is. If it's important to you to keep your name, your husband will eventually decide that you are more important than your name, right? Don't be pressured into giving up your name unless he's willing to give up his too - you can both legally change your names to something else when you marry, though in most states it's a lot more paperwork than is the very traditional act of becoming Mrs. Your Husband's Name.

I'm actually not a fan of hyphenation, as it's usually cumbersome ( I worked at a 3-partner firm that sounded like 4, because one partner was hyphenated). And my fears that having a different name from my child would cause confusion at his school are completely unfounded. It's very common these days.

I was thinking of switching names if I ever get married, my gf's last name goes great with my first name and my last name sticks really well to her first name. don't know if that's possible though...

lb, your last name is the coolest ever!

But Liberty your last name is way archi-cool

I am never changing my name. It is my identity. It is who I am. Future/imaginary husband would probably agree. Hyphenating it, would just be ridiculous.

beta, why does anybody need to adopt anybody's name?!

It's just so weird. Another thing that has always bugged me is that, when a woman gets married, not only does she have to lose her last name, but officially, her original last name gets moved to her middle name, and she loses THAT too! Talk about having your identity taken away.

user, I didn't mean to sound harsh about taking your husband's name. It's a personal choice and the whole point of being a feminist - I am one, proudly - is that we should all, women and men, be able to make the choices that work for us and our families without being subject to judgement from others about it.

When I was a teen I saw a picture of the Ladies Club in a church yearbook from the 1960s. The women were all identified as such:

Mrs. Oscar Miller
Mrs. Robert Cunningham
Mrs. William Price Jr.

and frankly, it appalled me. Here was a club - by and for women! - in which they were not even allowed their own first names. They were only legitimized as accessories to men.

Obviously that's not the case any longer, for the most part. When I'm called "Mrs. Husband's Name" by my son's teachers, doctor, etc. (which happens pretty frequently) I don't correct them, it's not a big deal.

To get back to your question: You need to ask your state board. If you live in a state in which the name of an incorporated architecture firm is required to have a registered professional's name in the title, then you'll want to make sure your registration paperwork, including your stamp, are in your maiden name. Given that your name legally is now your husband's last name, I'm not sure if that will be allowed. I would guess you'll be:

User LegalLastName Architect
D.B.A. User MaidenName LLC

The question will be whether you're allowed to call yourself User MaidenName Architects LLC if your state only allows the name on a firm to be a name on a license. Call your state board. I'll warn you that when I checked with my state registration board about our corporate name requirements they referred me to the Secretary of State, whose office handles corporate names, who referred me back to the registration board, who then threw up their hands and said "Call a lawyer". So you might want to start with a corporate lawyer and allow yourself plenty of time to resolve it!

I'd say suck it up and take his name. You said you are ten years away from starting your firm. By that time a lot of who your contacts are today will be gone and you will have many new contacts.

You did get married after all and I know it is trendy to hyphonate your name <rolling eyes> but again I say suck it up. JMHmysogynisticO.

And yes my wife thought the same thing when we married and we talked about it and she agreed that she would take my last name and live with the fallout of her actions regarding her professional career. <insert sarcasm here>

On the fence I'm not sure what you mean by this: JMHmysogynisticO

facetious - joking or jesting, often inappropriatly

Bad joke cuz posting on this thread by a male could land me in hot water.

Oh, wait - JMHO means just my honest opinion, sorry, I totally missed that. Got it.

i kept my maiden name as my middle name and use both professionally i am not a fan of the hyphen. i also wasn't a fan of my middle name, lynn, which i feel like every woman my age has and it really means nothing. my kids will all get my maiden name as their middle name as well. my 2 cents.

well, your last name is your father's not your mother's. by retaining it, you accept and reinforce his nominal dominance over her. so whatever name you choose retains the vestige of patriarchy.

be it your father's or your husband's.

Thanks for all the response! Not to worry Liberty Bell, I'm wearing my teflon suit here.

I would like to discover if any married professionals have figured out how to have it both ways.

I already changed my name on the marriage license, it's just not official until you change Social Security and Driver's License, etc.
"Maiden Married" is an option, but I like my Maiden name on it's own- it's got that final weight to it. If I get partners, my name would sound best as last.

You're probably right about my contacts being different 10 years from now, what a sad but true thought, I will miss them.

I'll check in with the State Board and post my findings.

Until then, anyone married who has legally changed to a married name but is practicing under a maiden name (or someone whose wife is doing this), please post how you did it!

We know, Fondue, we know - we are reminded every day that the patriarchy is still in control, witness our attitudes towards Viagra v. abortion.

User, do post back if you hear anything concrete from your state board. It would be interesting to know.

these names all have a good ring to them....

liberty bell retro
wonderk retro
mantaray retro...

****melt retro!

vado bell !!

aml retro or i guess in spanish it would be amretrol

if sign = thing signified, then i is screwed.

names are constructs. i agree with fondue.

thanks for being a good sport, user -- do post back on your findings! I am very curious about this. I have wracked my brains for an example of what you're asking about among my aquaintances, and couldn't think of any. It's a small pool to draw from, anyhow (women who own firms or have achieved "top billing" in academia...)

ah, interesting point, beta.

I'm all for everyone keeping their own names, but it's your decision if you choose to take someone else's. If you do, and if you choose to change your birth surname to your middle name, perhaps you could write your whole name out professionally so as to keep using the name you have now (albeit with an addendum) but without all the legal work and research.

I have a different problem, but related to names, which has to do with wishing I could change the pronunciation of my last name. It's French, fairly uncommon and very phonetically unintuitive. My grandmother anglicized the already anglicized pronunciation a few decades ago, and I'd like to change it back. I've thought about it, and I don't think it's possible at this point. That having been said, I'd suggest seriously weighing changing your name if it's important to you before you do so.