I am starting a new thread that is about other threads. You can talk about other discussions taking a place in Archinect and make cross references to a particular link, picture, response and whatever else you deem necessary or entertaining or thought provoking about the other thread. thus the name: Thread Central

here are some examples of comments that comes to mind:
* hey did you read on --------- thread ------- thinks frank gehry is good. hahahaharhar..
or,
*i can't believe he said that. how stupid of him. asshole.on top of it he is got hundreds of posts. gimme a break.
or,
* this is the best thread.. fuck the others..
or,
*****Thread Alert******
read the -----thread yet??? there is a dog fight going on between ----- and-----.it is about gondolas and pollution in Venice..see you there.
or,
* yeaah, i don't read that thread either. its kind a boring.
or,
*i am thinking about starting a discussion about ------------- ---- ---- will you guys in Thread Central post in it and say wow it a great thread?. it was about time 'somebody' (insert my name please) picked up on it.. and discuss it?

like whatever..

i just noticed that the page index at the bottom of TC currently has a tripartite organization:
-pages 1 through 108 form the "top" section and sorta suggest a cornice in the fact that this body of numbers has edges that seem to angle inward from top to bottom,
-pages 109-290 form a strong rectangular mid-section, with cleanly organized columns of 3 digit numbers and negative spaces,
-pages 291-301 form a small and inset base...which i now realize will change as soon as I submit this comment...

for Liberty Bell - congratulations on your 10,000th post. Impressive when you think how useful and inspiring each one has been, for that I salute you!

Nice, techno, thanks!

rationalist and everyone else in Seattle: be careful, there's a bear on the loose!

Congrats, LB!

jk3hl:

You've got a pretty decent list there for a weekend trip... The only things I would add are the Carew Tower and adjacent Netherland Plaza Hotel, and Union Terminal. Both buildings are world-renown examples of stunning art deco architecture, and Carew has an outdoor observation deck at the top of the building that affords some great views of the region. If you have time, the Cincinnati Zoo is also worth a visit.

As for nightlife, WonderK or ****melt could probably answer that question better than I could. That said, I know Grammer's in Over-the-Rhine is a local institution that's been around forever, and there's apparently a new beer garden at Findlay Market. For general nightlife districts, I'd suggest Mainstrasse in Covington, Mt. Adams, Northside, and maybe Mt. Lookout Square. I could use some ideas in that regard as well.

Thanks LiG - great call on the new beer garden, I remember a friend telling me it recently opened. Still gearing up to apply to UC's MArch this fall?

Yeah, UC is pretty much my top choice, for many reasons.

Let me know if you find any interesting spots for eating/drinking, as I might be inclined to check them out while I'm in town next month.

i suspect that the new year's is going to kind of suck this year when we transition from one nameless decade into another nameless decade. what i wouldn't give to party like it's 1999 again.

the 20s just can't get here fast enough...i just hope that i live long enough to see them.

jk3hl > if you are really going to a Reds game, I suggest hitting up the Newport Hofbrauhaus either before or afterwards for a giant liter of beer, just as they have at the original Hofbrauhaus in Germany. It's the first Hofbrauhaus outside of Europe, and it's pretty funny. Also, a great view of the river.

Congrats, liberty bell, on your post ascension!

Things are getting a little crazy on the forum right now. I had no idea I would inspire so many copycat threads. Pretty ridiculous.

I posted a thread.

My first one.

Be gentle.

It is located in 'general discussion'

Your participation is appreciated.

jk3hl -- A couple more places come to mind:

If you like barbecue, be sure to check out Montgomery Inn. If you like ice cream, be sure to stop by Graeter's.

Up on Mt. Adams is The Rookwood, a bar and restaurant located in the building of the former Rookwood Pottery. The old kilns are still there, and you can dine inside of them. I remember that place having good burgers, but I think they've changed ownership once or twice since I was last there, so who knows. The view of the city skyline from their parking lot is great, though, especially at night.

A couple blocks away from there is the spot where I first decided to become an architect... I think I must have been in second or third grade at the time. Funny how you remember stuff like that.

AP - you're portfolio is outstanding. Very impressive.

LB - congrats on 10,000

vado - great lyrics

jk3hl - it all depends on what you are looking for in night life. While Mt Adams is nice and has a great view of the city, I find it rather snooty. There are some great places both on Mainstrasse in Covington (that's across the river in KY) and in Northside (about 5 -10 mins north of campus). Like I said, it just all depends on what you are looking for.

I haven't been there yet, but Terry's Turf Club is getting rave reviews for its burgers. If memory serves me correctly, it's actually been voted one of the best burger joints in the US. People always seem to rave about Montgomery Inn, but I think it's a bit over rated, especially if you are on a budget. Melt, Honey, Slims and the Hideaway (all in Northside, can you tell it's my favorite area of town) are all very tasty, especially Melt, which is vegetarian/vegan friendly. Graeter's IS good, but so is Aglamesis

OK, now back to the Princess Bride. It's playing on Bravo. I can't believe I still practically remember all the lines.

That's cute, LiG. I was sitting at a red stoplight at the time, at age 17. It's only a few blocks from my parents' house and I actually think about that occasionally when I get stopped at a light there on a visit home.

I've been to Honey... that's random.

wouldn't it be weird if we found out we'd been there at the same time...?!

tuna, of course you still remember the lines. The Princess Bride is absolutely unforgettable. I found out the other day that one of my housemates doesn't like it and was like WHAT?! Crazy. And I used to think she was cool...

How could anyone not like that movie? I mean, I mean that seriously... honestly what is there not to like?

That's actually harder for me to believe than people who don't like chocolate...

Stop rhyming!!! I mean it!!!!

Vado and LB, very touching.

Nite all.

AP,
Nice portfolio. I like the focus on process.
Also, digging the Marion County project...

Anybody want a peanut?

Me?

he he he he!

i can hear his ponderous voice... anybuddddy wanta PEA-nut?

manta, you've been to Honey? Well done, that's my favorite restaurant in Cincinnati! That place serves food for $25 that would easily go for $100 in a bigger city.

Is the Rookwood restaurant even still open? I have no idea. Also while Graeter's is OK I always preferred United Dairy Farmers (UDF), despite its owner. Also, I can vouch for Terry's Turf Club....outstanding burgers! But go early and with a small group....


Aaaassss yoouuuuuu wishhhhhhh!!!!!

IIRC, the Rookwood had been closed for a while, but recently re-opened under new ownership.

I'll have to check out some of the places in Northside while I'm in town... That's a part of the city I've never spent much time in.

Wow, I cant beleive someone doesnt like the movie, either. I mean, its got pirates, and swashbuckling, and love, and of course the ROUS's.

Awesome rationalist. That's what I was looking for.

Rodents of Unusual Size? ... I don't think they exist.

So puppy is at the office for a second day in a row. Everyone has completely and utterly fallen in love with her because she is so gentle. I wouldn't be surprised if one of the principles snatches her up. I'm going to be sad to give her back although it'll be nice to have my life back and not have to go out for 4x day walks.

DubK - I totally agree with you. UDF is actually my favorite ice cream in the city. Graeter's is good for a treat but it's slightly too rich. There are also a bunch of soft-serve places that I love too, but all are on the West Side. Putzes, Zip Dip, and Tummy Treats. Do they even have soft-serve on the East Side?

Manta - When were you in Cincy? I've only been to Honey once but I consider it one of my favorite restaurants. I also love Ottos in Covington, even though they have slow service.

Wull I'll be. I didn't know UDF was owned by Carl.

We went for a weekend about ... a year and a half ago? To visit friends, and they took us out for brunch at honey. It was good, cute place. I liked Cincinnati, I'm all for hills and cheap brick rowhomes! We also drove around and found this random FLW house. Also had beers at some bar with a back deck wayyyy up this steep steep hillside, looking down on the river / stadium area... and I had the distinction of visiting the Worst Piece of Architecture I Have Ever Experienced. :) It was a great trip!

I had no idea about Lindner and UDF, either. Between him and Oberweis in Chicago, you'd almost wonder if there's some inborn connection between owning a chain of ice cream parlors and being a wingnut.

I also watched a bit of Princess Bride out of the corner of my eye last night. I like the movie very much, especially Chris Guest and Mandy Patinkin, but what I LOVE beyond all reason is the book. I'm actually dying to read the book to my son, then I wonder if I need to just let him read it as a teen, like I did. Then I worry that whichever way I introduce it to him he won't fall in love with it...such is the trauma of parenthood.

I have to be a production machine today. Later all.

I figure I'll start reading things like Robinson Crusoe, Treasure Island, ect to Abe when he's between 5 and 7. That way he will be able to imagine the stories, and still be excited about pirates and other boy stuff.

Speaking of boy stuff, I showed him a roly-poly this morning. He thought it was cool, and let it crawl around on his hand...until he decided to eat it. Don't worry, I didnt let him. Yuck!

LB, I didn't even know that movie was also a book.

I take it the book was better?

Morning all.

the princess bride totally rocks, even if it has kissing in there.

rationalist I more that understand your concerns, and perhaps wanting to distance yourself from said room-mate. I'm not sure how they let those people in the city? On another note the first episode of "how I met your mother" the cbs show about a young architect's life that leads up to him meeting and falling in love with the mother of his children... sorry I digress. Anyway the first episode revolves around the fact that his girlfriend at the time has never watched Star Wars. Strange I know. Stranger still that I found out that my missus hasn't seen it either.

Should I a) [strike]run to the hills[/strike] b) sit her down to watch episode IV and c) the rest in the correct order as George Lucas directed them or d) from episode I to VI? Tough nerdy question... I know.

to borrow Liberty's line... the trauma of love

Techno, they should be watched in directional order. Otherwise, it might annoy her that the 'past' is more futuristic than the 'future' and all the littl ahah moments wont come through. Definately go in directional order. Besides, the original three are better than the others anyway. I mean come on...Jar Jar Binx? Really? And Yoda wasnt annoying in the older movies, but he is now, and I prefer him in puppet form to CGI. Just saying.

I agree on Star Wars. Honestly, the first one is really the only movie that's any good...and I expect to be lambasted for that statement, but there it is. The puppets were so much better than the CGI because your body empathizes with the physical object even if you know it's not animate. JarJar Binks would have been exponentially less annoying had he been a puppet. Though the Ewoks maybe disprove my theory.

I too have friends who have never seen star wars. Thus I'm throwing a star wars party. I'd hate to have to disown them, espcially since one of them spells Trek with a c. She's moved far down my friends list.

i wish i had never seen 'star wars'. those movies were total crap.

except for the death star...an artificial planet is actually pretty prescient. it's also inspired me to totally disregard the green/environmental/sustainability fad as a total waste of effort...we should just start building our own death star and bail on earth.

I agree about Star Wars as well... Episode IV was special because nothing like that had really been done on the big screen before, and the viewers were literally being introduced to an entirely new world, and The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi followed in that vein. The Ewoks were pretty stupid, IMO, but that didn't stop those movies from being one of the best trilogies of all time.

The three prequels just sort of sucked the life out of the franchise... The first rule of show business is to leave your audience wanting more, and by the time Lucas started remaking the originals and then giving us the prequels, people were saying "enough already". I'll give Lucas props for his incredibly vivid imagination, but he should have quit while he was ahead instead of trying to milk the franchise for all it was worth.

I always preferred Star Trek because it's set within our own universe and timeline, and as a result, seems easier to relate to. That franchise had also been sucked dry by a series of mediocre movies and TV episodes, but the new J.J. Abrams movie will hopefully be successful in giving it a much-needed re-boot.

Who knows... Maybe in another decade or two some talented director other than George Lucas will manage to re-boot the Star Wars franchise in a similar manner.... Or better yet, maybe Hollywood will decide to do something original for a change.

(cross-posted with puddles... I was agreeing with SH and LB.)

yeay! the pieces are falling into place to get to atlanta to present at GRHC! (I'm at 3:45 on Thursday in track 2).

re: starwars - only watch the original three in their original versions. Lucas ruined them with the CG stuff inserted recently.

What about the original trilogy was ruined by their re-mastering? And yes, I completely agree about Episodes I-III being pretty crappy. EXCEPT the finale lightsaber duel at the end of episode one with Darth Maul, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon Jinn. SO EPIC!

*sigh*

I usually make a point not to discuss my church activities here on Archinect, but I need to vent a little. This doesn't really have anything to do with theology or religion per se, but about how you treat the volunteers who make an organization function on a day-to-day basis.

Around this time last year about half our volunteers walked out the door when the church decided to institute criminal background checks for all staff and volunteers serving at the cathedral. Given the recent issues with sexual abuse in some churches, I can appreciate the reasoning behind requiring background checks, but I can also appreciate somebody being resentful about being treated like a potential criminal after they've spent 20+ years of their lives putting their blood, sweat, and tears into the cathedral. Other volunteers were concerned about privacy issues, and didn't appreciate being asked to hand over their Social Security numbers and other personal information to the church secretary, who would then hand it over to some shady company hired to conduct the checks. I was on the fence myself, but ultimately decided to sign the consent form and continue in my work at the church. Several close friends of mine ended up leaving the cathedral altogether, though.

With far less people on hand, the remaining volunteers are being asked to do much more. I've stepped up to the plate and taken on a leadership role with the Acolyte Guild, and I've served in the liturgy for both the 11 AM and 4 PM services almost every Sunday since before Labor Day of last year.

As you might imagine, that's a huge time commitment, and it's finally starting to catch up to me in a big way. Facing severe burnout, and with me putting in longer hours at the office in hopes of avoiding the next round of layoffs, and with me finally getting serious about doing my thesis and other coursework to finish my degree, I've decided to significantly cut back my involvement at the church to only one service per weekend, which is still far more than most other acolytes put in.

The clergy have been very supportive and understanding, but I think I might come to blows with the head of the Acolyte Guild (also a volunteer) before too long. He has a very "my way or the highway" approach to leadership, and on a couple of occasions has implied that I haven't been pulling my share of the load at the cathedral. This is from a guy who is retired and who spends half the year in London, forcing me and the other acolytes to pick up the slack in his absence.

Today I got an email from him basically telling me that I needed to be at the cathedral at 9 AM on Saturday to help clean some of the equipment. (Not asking me if I could make it, mind you, but simply telling me to show up.) This is despite the fact that we've already cleaned this equipment to the best of our ability, and that any further cleaning will require enlisting the help of a professional service. I've already told him that I won't be able to make it, and he responded with a very curt "the cleaning session will proceed as scheduled."

Lately I've been giving some thought to resigning from the Acolyte Guild altogether, but I know that would leave them even more short-handed. I probably need to have a chat with one of the clergy... I want to continue helping the cathedral as much as I'm able, but if I continue to feel like my efforts are being taken for granted, they'll find themselves short one more volunteer.

The original being remastered tried too hard to take the cheesey effects out of the movie. Imagine if Jason and the Argonauts was remastered; it just wouldnt be the same. Part of the fun of Starwars, at least for me since I'm only 25 was the hokey-ness. Yes, its obvious that the effects arent real, but CGI is just as obvious, no matter how hard it tries. Think of fiberglass wood shutters and shakes.

my problem with the re-mastered SW is both the difference in visual styles between in-camera/optical effects and CG, along with the attempt to fill in all the gaps. so to have a scene in tattoeen town that suddenly has giant dinosaurs and way too many space ships destroys the mood and doesn't leave anything to our imagination. If lucas went the way of ridley scott's with the blade runner director cut and took out the cheese/everything gets narrated, it would could have been better film. we don't need to know everything - nor should we. the best films leave plenty to the imagination.

Oh, my on again/off again project is now on hold again. gives me time to catch up on architect!

Well, I just put my foot down and responded to my fellow acolyte with a respectful yet moderately sternly-worded email.

Now waiting for the shit to hit the fan....

Yea, LiG - if I were in your shoes I'd have a mind to ditch the old humbug and invest my time volunteering in more meaningful ways than cleaning equipment for the umpteenth time!

LiG, your story reminds me of my sister's first kid's baptism. My sis and I were raised Lutheran, her husband is Catholic, they agreed to baptize in the Catholic church. But my sister forgot to enroll them in the required pre-Baptism class for couples with only one Catholic, so the Friday before the baptism was scheduled they received a very short, curt, firm message on their home phone machine saying "Because you neglected to enroll in the class, there. will. be. NO baptism this Sunday."

Well my sister and her friends were having a happy hour at home when they checked the messages, and found it hilariously funny. Now whenever someone in the family wants another drink, the response is often "Ask nicely, or there. will. be. NO margarita!" etc etc.

Anyway, as to your conundrum: good luck. It is, after all, a volunteer activity; you can only give what you can afford to give.

Yeah... A normal parish church would have a sacristan on staff whose sole responsibility is to clean and maintain the liturgical equipment, but we're not a normal parish church. Problem is, a lot of that stuff is precious metalwork that's been donated to the cathedral over the past hundred years, and would be impossible to replace if it got damaged.

For example, look at the large processional cross I'm carrying in this photo (between the two torches):



That cross was donated to the cathedral by J.P. Morgan personally. It's plated with sterling silver, and contains a supposed relic of the True Cross in the center. (The True Cross is the actual wooden cross upon which Jesus was crucified.) You can't put a price tag on something like that, and I don't feel comfortable having a bunch of untrained volunteers taking their best guess as to how it should be cleaned and polished. The cathedral really needs to pony up and have this stuff done by a professional.

LiG- you need to volunteer somewhere with lots of hotties! I doubt the acolyte pool has good pickings.

Not too too long ago I checked out the series The Power Of Myth that was a television program on a little known network called PBS. Now I actually checked out the audio compact discs .Anyway for those of you unfamiliar with the program, a journalist by the name of Bill Moyers interviewed this fellow by the name of Joseph Campbell about mythology and its power and relevance today (ie the early 80's when the show was done) In the program Campbell and Moyers talked a hell of a lot about the first Star Wars film and about it being a classic hero's journey tale etc etc. But the whole time I was listening I was thinking "Joe if you'd have lived to see those disaster sequels and prequels you made have made a hero's journey to the editing room and redone some of your interviews."

Speaking of a hero's journey wtf...I was at the tire store today because one of my chariots wheels disingrated while on one of my heroic drives to nowhere and so I'm waiting for them to put on a new tire and there isn't one freaking car magazine to look at. There were all these Redbooks and Oprah magazines and instead of sports or tractor pulls on the big screen, its Montel doin' a show about Transgender teens. I mean really WTF?

Heh... If you think that's bad, try volunteering at a railroad museum. Fun work, but it's not something you do to meet women.

I wouldn't mind doing some work with Habitat or AFH, but again, there's only so many hours in the week.

I second TK....

Also, Star Wars 1-3 pretty much sucked, except for some of the epic lightsaber, Jedi fights... I personally loved all three but only the original versions. Agreed to much filler and CGI were added.

And as Kevin Smith once said, "a death scene is to good for Jar Jar. I would just let it happen offscreen"

LiG- I feel for you, not many cute rail fans. Grad school can be quite a pick-up joint. Just don't date within your own program (just in case things get messy...) we need a thread about which school has the hottest students!

We use Bartender's friend to clean all the relics down at our local cathedral.

I'll have to look into Bartender's Friend.

Our biggest problem area is cleaning the thuribles, which are the incense-filled pots we use to cense the altar and congregation:



They haven't been properly cleaned in years, and there's a thick layer of hard resin built up on the underside of the lids. When coals are placed into the thurible and it heats up, this resin becomes like a thick syrup and starts to drip, causing the chains to gum up and creating an unpleasant stench. Some sacristy rats from other parishes have suggested soaking the thuribles in acetone or paint thinner overnight, which will supposedly help break up the resin. I may have to give that idea a shot.

LIG - Really dumb question but would you really NOT want to polish semi-precious metals all the time? I mean, aren't you in essence stripping of a very minute layer off the metal? Ergo if you do it long enough it'll get too thin? And I agree... it's a voluntary position for pity sake.

LB - that's just sad when it comes to the baptism, I'd almost be tempted to find a completely new church, as in not Catholic. But that's just me.

Its Barkeeper's Friend...I use it on my pots and pans! Smells terrible, though.

OH, and my university had a 6-1 girl boy ratio while I was there, unfortunatly, I dont think they have a grad program.

Yeah, that's pretty much my concern, ****melt. We usually polish the tat about twice a year (before Advent and before Easter), which I think is a pretty reasonable schedule. Any more than that, and I worry that we risk stripping the metal finish or otherwise damaging the item.

For a brief second I thought that was an image of an old hookah, lol.

I <3 shisha!

It actually functions pretty similar to a hookah, and has its origins in the same part of the world. You light some coals and place incense (rather than shisha) on top of them. Instead of inhaling the smoke through a hose, though, you swing it around on the chains and allow it to fill the room.

We have three thuribles of varying designs. For some reason they've been given names: Boomo, J.J., and Siegfried. This video (taken at the same service as the photo above) shows Boomo in action. Unfortunately, Boomo is also the filthiest of the three.

In the same vein as Melts comment, seems the years of built up resin could be nice, like a patina. If people complain of the smell (I dont know how smelly it is or isnt) you could tell them its 200 year old hash...or something like that.

Well, the incense is supposed to smell good, and having a bunch of foul-smelling resin in the mix sort of defeats the purpose. Also, the resin gunks up the chains (preventing the lid from opening and closing properly) and can drip on the altar linen and people's vestments, so it's best to keep the thurible clean. With our limited manpower, though, we've been suffering through a period of deferred maintenance on this stuff.

DO NOT USE BARTENDER'S FRIEND ON ANTIQUES. IT WILL EAT HOLES IN SILVER AND GOLD LEAF.



What you actually do want to use is rose polish-- you can find it cheaply at more upscale grocery stores under the name "Wright's Silver Creme" or you can ask a jeweler where you can buy some.

In fact, you can use any water-based polish over 24,000 grit if you know of any auto-detailing supply shops.

Now for the incense... what you actually want to do is use a Bic lighter. Simply heat up the resin to around a 150 to 170 degrees and it will easily scrape off if you use a thin steel screwdriver, scrimped wire or another but spring metal with a sharp stiff and flat head.

Do not use carbon steel, hardened steel or any other fancy invention.

If you've even scraped a pot pipe or a bong... you should know how to remove built up resin on the inside.

DO NOT USE A HEAVY CHEMICAL SOLVENT. A mixture of salt, cream of tartar and mouthwash will gently remove any resin.

Always wear cotton gloves.

The use of any chemical cleaner is dangerous at best. Thinly stripping off damaged oxidation is preferable over a chemical action that does a similar thing. Polishes tend to be chemically inert and only affect the area that has force being applied to it.

A solvent, chemical polish or tarnish remover can have disastrous affects because it can not only travel... but it will remove tarnish from areas you may not exactly want tarnish to be removed from.

If you use a chemical polish to polish brass, be sure to sure cream of tartar mixed with lemon juice and buff with varying grades of paper towels to stiff paper. DO NOT USE TARNEX. ALWAYS POLISH ALL BRASS.

If the finish is damaged far too much, simply use a mixture of a solid wax polish mixed with the finish or use RUB'N'BUFF.

One last final note, USE an ACRYLIC wax. Out of all the waxes and polishes, a nice clear shiny acrylic wax is your best best for sealing and protecting surfaces that tarnish... what's even better is that it can be removed by both physical force and vinegar. Museum supply stores a more improved variety but I have found that Future floor wax works just as well. Be warned... anything that can be damaged by water will be damaged by an acrylic wax.

Speaking of star trek, I watched Star Trek II last night and can't figure out why this one is considered the best of the ST movies.

wow, that was certainly educational. LiG, better not use Barkeepr's! Hey, maybe you can get HillandRock to volunteer with you!

Thanks for the info, h&r. I hadn't considered the parallels between maintaining a thurible and maintaining a bong, but you make a valid point. I should be asking my stoner friends how to deal with this stuff. (Too bad I'm not back in Philly, as my stoner friends and my church friends were one and the same.)

I love Star Trek II, and I still have a hard time deciding whether I think that one or the new one is the best movie of the franchise so far. It's the movie that Star Trek: The Motion Picture should have been, and Spock's death scene was heartbreaking. I consider it one of the most poignant death scenes of any movie I've seen. Overall, the movie deals with a lot of themes that you typically don't find in the sci-fi genre, and the battle scenes were modeled after submarine warfare long before The Hunt for Red October made submarines cool. In the Star Wars universe, battle scenes are modeled after aerial dogfights, but out in the vacuum of space, the submarine analogy is much more apt.

i'm thinking that being eaten alive by another animal has got to be one of the most painful & unpleasant ways to die.

just imagine looking down and seeing a lion or a shark or something with its mouth around your leg...

...pain screaming through your nervous system as the sharp teeth rip flesh & crack bones...

...blood everywhere...

...knowing that your foot is already gone...like GONE...even if you somehoow survive this...

...except, of course, even though you're too busy screaming & fighting, you somehow have a moment to think that you're fucked and there's just no way you're getting out of this one...and you just can believe it's happening like this...

...and then the pain is too much so you just give in & pass out.

damn, that must be miserable. would anybody even know what happened to you under those circumstances? although i'd probbaly panic too, i'd like to think i would keep my wits long enough to send a final post (via blackberry, iphone, etc) to thread central explaining situation & saying bye...just because, you know, if i were eaten alive by a lion, i think that's something most you guys would want to know, right?

Better than being slowly digested over a thousand years.



(Speaking of perfectly good space monsters ruined by George Lucas's subsequent CG tinkering.)

puddles - I sometimes think it would be fun to live in your brain for a day or two.

And I thought I had random thoughts :o)

Ha ha.

ahhh i was kidding about the barfly's helper. I don't go to church and certainly don't polish anything.

wonder if anyone has twittered while being eaten alive?

wow I go away for a few hours and the conversation focuses on Star Wars and the Acolytes - now that would be a movie I'd watch.

I'm really quite tired today... and tomorrow I get up at dawn and drive to the other end of the island (roughy 250km) - the sucky part is that it would be cool to have company but I have to leave so early I doubt anyone is willing to leave the comfort of their bed. Goodness knows I wouldn't want to

Wow,
I just want to respect hillandrock bringing the knowledge

that is all.
Go nite and go sacramento!!!!

Oooh, AP I just looked at your portfolio!

My favorite part is how you collaged your sketches on and off your moleskine sketchbook. Such a cool technique - you've given me lots of inspiration for my own portfolio!

Techno, if I was still in school/didnt have a family and responsibilities, I'd totally go. I like road trips and adventure.

awww Sarah that would be awesome... damn those responsibilities!

Did I tell you guys I had a dream, actually 2 dreams in concurrent nights where I was in a store buying a imac? Apparently Steve Jobs has found a way to infiltrate our subconscious and he's testing it on Jamaicans. Bastards!

Well, graduation weekend was largely a success, except for the part where WonderMan and WonderMom just kind of ... ignored each other's presence. I expected as much from my mother but not from my boyfriend. So I'm a little distraught and frankly I was glad to put him on the plane yesterday, which is not a feeling I've ever felt before. I'm trying to figure out where to mentally go with this. It's hard since, as we all know by now, I didn't grow up witnessing many successful relationships so I have to figure out things on my own. If anyone wants to play Couple's Counselor, please let me know.

have you asked him? There's always a chance that he felt the cold shoulder from your mom and didn't really know how to react to it.

I did talk to him this evening, and he did say that he immediately felt my mother's negativity and felt that he had no chance so he just didn't try. But he also apparently blamed me for my "complicity" by imploring her to come to my graduation party, at which he acted like a true asshat (my roommate informed me she wanted to punch him in the face). Also, instead of apologizing, he then went on to tell me that I might want to seek therapy lest I end up like her. At which point I thanked him for continuing to insult me several days in a row, after I had tried to resolve the situation like an adult, and then ended the conversation.

Looks like the Hawaii part of my plan might be back in the "tentative" column. Le sigh.

uh, yeah, sorry dubK, but a definite asshat. it sounds like he's got issues. perhaps there's some underlying mother issues he has yet to deal with, and this is his defense mechanism. we all have parents that piss us off - case in point, mine, they'll be here tomorrow and my father is coming; Captain Bud, even after I told my mother she was welcome, but he was not - but we deal and move the conversation/moment/situation along; knowing that those moments are insignificant compared to our lifetime of experiences.

good luck.

DubK, have you had any previous mom/serious boyfriend altercations that you can use for comparison? Is your mom like this with all your bfs? Is your bf like this with any other, um, let's use the term "authority figures" since that may be how he was perceiving your mom, like in his mind this was an interview he had to pass?

Telling you YOU need therapy, not in a supportive way but an accusatory one, is a huge red flag. Sounds to me like HE has an issue and doesn't want to face it, so he's blaming you.

DubK, I tend to make excuses for people, always coming up with a reason they might have behaved a certain way. Unfortunately, I cant come up with one for the therapy comment. Maybe IF Id heard him say it, and or witnessed the fateful meeting, then I could come up with something.

Not knowing your mother, or beta's parents, I can never see what the big deal is with parents. I mean, my mom gets on my nerves, but I just let it go, and my roomate's mother in college was a sight, but again, I just let it all go, and tried to help my roomate to do the same.

WK, I think you should give him another chance, and give yourself some time to recover. Its possible that in dealling with your mom, you were on edge and not your typical self, which could've thrown WonderMan off. So take a day, take a breath, and then try again. Don't let ONE incedent kill a relationship that most of the time makes you happy. Relationships, as I see them, are not about being happy all the time - no one can fulfill that role. So stick it out, and see what happens.

LB, Brad Pitt is on Today this morning. I'm not usually a fan, but he looks rather Dapper. He's wearing a cream jacket with a white shirt and a sage grey scarf/ascot, aviators with chrome outlines, and has his goatee cut close. I do like his goatee, and I dont usually like goatess.

OMFG DubK!!!! I CANNOT believe he said that. What a completely asshat. I'll be emailing you shortly as I don't think anyone here wants to hear me rant.

And once again, I agree with LB. Huge red flag and HUGELY inappropriate.

beta - how long are the 'rents in town? I hope you have a good time, despite the difficultes.

i am thinking about giving my father "the talk" when he gets here; you know the Parent-Child talk about the rules of the house, only i am the parent in this scenario.

DubK shouldn't it be Lei Sigh? if it has to do with Hawaii?

Ever woman I've ever met has wanted to put me in therapy. Actually therapy is good. Just wish it was free. Everybody could stand a little sitting and talking without worrying about being judged. Also, it can be awkward to be around someone else's family no matter how much you may L-U-V that other person. Because frankly people act very different around their families and many times things come up that happened between family members 20 years ago and you just stand their not knowing what or how to act. I have always expeerienced this especially if the woman comes from a family of divorce etc...Just lots and lots and lots of issues. etc.Now why he annoyed your friends? I couldn't tell ya.

maybe you do need therapy or else end up like mother...of course, this could probably be said about all of us...

Sarah gives good advice re: taking a breath and deciding if one incident is worth the entire relationship. The idea that no one will make you happy ALL the time mirrors something I actually said to vado very recently: everyone you date will annoy the fuck out of you at some point.

And vado is also spot on re: acting differently around family. Wonderman may have been freaked out because he didn't know what the hell to do. So he made a poor choice in THIS situation, has he done similarly in previously stressful situations?

beta, by the way, I feel for what you're about to face with your dad. Yeah, you DO need to give him The Talk: You are an adult, it's your home, you have rules, he's a guest.

Dubk,
Sounds like a bad scene. Anytime a close-friend or roomate wants to punch in the face or call's your SO an asshat (et al) is a bad sign.

It could be that he has similar unresolved issues with mother and/or just was thrown off by the whole situation..

Have you all had problems like this, or had any blowups before?

Either way sounds like Hawaii plans may be need to put on th eback-burner, at least for awhile.

As for parents, never understood either SH.
I mean sure they can be a pain in the ass, but i figure i was for at least 16 years so...

Morning everyone else!!! We are having about of Seattle-esque weather in North Florida this week. Been rainy and overcast for the first half of the week and suppose to be like that for the rest of week.

I love the coolness and rain (which we needed badly) but also get slightly annoyed because I don't get to bike to work. Although, i suppose that may say more about me and my lack of commitment to a low carbon lifestyle, than anything else..

a couple of thoughts on the comments, that i think most people are forgetting; an outsider should know the trap of commenting negatively on significant other's family, they have not been around long enough to know jack - even if dubK acknowledges problems, which she has, it does not give him permission to dump on her - and certainly have not been around long enough to suggest someone needs therapy. so, i understand dubK's annoyance, i'd be pissed too.

he's out of line, and i don't even know the guy, but i know my anger at my father does not give anyone else permission to dump. it forces added pressure on me to deal with the problem, a problem i am all to aware of, and have been aware of for 30 years.

Beta makes a good point...

Ugh. Thank you all for your perspective. I really needed it. My best friend and my roommate were both totally put off by him this weekend, as I was, and I basically feel like a different person stepped off the plane this time than the man I fell in love with last year. I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed out. I didn't even tell you about the inappropriate jokes that he made at the dinner at my professor's house ... or how he went up to one of my classmates, sat him down and told him that he needed to dress better and have goals in life - even though my classmate is the one who just got a graduate degree and WonderMan is the one who doesn't have goals, doesn't dress very well, and didn't even finish his Bachelor's degree.

I know that he's still hurt from his mom passing away and I know that he himself has been seeing a therapist and is taking mild anti-depressants. I don't know if they have other behavioral side effects like lashing out or what. I also know that he's incredibly bright and good at analyzing other people, so he should know better. But as of right now, I just feel like calling the whole thing off. I think I need to call in the big guns: my best friend that got married and had us both in his wedding. There are questions that I have for him that I've always wanted to ask but never had the reason to. Now or never, I guess.

Crap, I just need a hug.

I'm sending you a virtual hug DubK.

what's a hug?

I posted a link to my graduation speech on my blog; check it out if you'd like.

Thanks to everyone here for their virtual support, academically, professionally, personally or otherwise. If I had thought it wouldn't confuse everyone in the audience I would have mentioned you all in my "thanks" last Friday but, yeah. I don't think that I would be who I am if I didn't have this community as a sounding board. Even puddles ;o)

Holy shit, WK... I don't have any advice other than what's already been posted by much wiser people in these matters, but I hope all works out for the best.

Any word about the potential gig in Denver?

I am going to Denver next Wednesday for an interview. I am actually feeling pretty good about it and hoping that the third time is the charm! Until next week though, I just need to let life happen. Le sigh, part deux.

Which reminds me.... Strawbeary are you out there? Unfortunately I don't have any extra time to hang out while I'm in town but send me some happy thoughts next Wednesday afternoon, will you?

Hug squared...

I am working busily today. Much of it time spent on the phone. Yeah!!!